Baby Dumps Honey Badger, Embraces Spitting Cobra

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Did you really just spit on that nice lady?

We often refer to Maddie as the “Honey Badger” because of her rare brand of toughness. But this morning, the baby adopted the characteristics of the honey badger’s archenemy, the dreaded spitting cobra!

More and more, Maddie has taken to expressing her displeasure by sticking out her tongue and blowing spittle. You really can’t miss the noise or saliva splatter that carpets the area when little Maddie is acting out.

When Maddie directs this behavior towards her Dad, I cancel the transaction by placing my finger on her bottom lip. This type of behavior has recently started to ramp up during one of three activities:

  • Diaper changes
  • Wardrobe changes
  • Headband adjustments

This spackle/spittle issue really didn’t cross my mind when the baby arrived at the craniologist’s office this morning. We had a simple appointment to get Maddie’s headband adjusted. Once the adjusting process began, it didn’t take long for Maddie’s fussiness meter to start pinging.

I warned the headband technician to beware of Maddie’s spittle. She told me not to worry just as Maddie tried to apply her first coat of spackle onto the poor woman. I gently touched the baby’s bottom lip to remind her that we don’t spray people with our saliva. Luckily, the spray missed its mark, but I cautioned the tech again to be on the lookout.

Just as Maddie was getting the back of her head examined, she fired a second round of liquid love that fell helplessly to the floor. Once again, I apologized for Maddie’s boisterous behavior and the tech assured me that I had nothing to worry about.

Well, we’ve all heard that the third time is the charm. No sooner had the tech relaxed when Maddie the cobra let loose a venomous splatter of biblical proportions. The generous spray caught the tech right in the face and in one of her eyes. The tech staggered back, struggling for composure while Maddie eyed her suspiciously and I spewed my vehement apologies.

I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to watch your child do something wildly inappropriate, I just never thought the first incident would occur so early. I suppose this was how little Maddie decided she would celebrate her 6-month birthday. We can only imagine what goodies she will cook up for us when she turns one-year-old.

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One thought on “Baby Dumps Honey Badger, Embraces Spitting Cobra

    Larry Burton said:
    January 29, 2012 at 5:19 am

    John,

    Forget the one year mark, just wait till she turns two!!!

    Larry

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