Mischief

Hide and Seek

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Maddie’s World Upside Down

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Was this trip really necessary?

Hail to the Chief

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Look alive people – I expect you to be on point this morning

 

Mad Maddie and the Chocolate Factory

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Hey Dad, come get a whiff of this!

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. The baby wakes up in the morning and mom and dad go in to fetch her. The diaper gets changed and we head into the living room to start the day. Just as I put Maddie down, her mom asks, what’s that on Maddie’s collar? I take a quick look and wonder, “Do I really want to know?”

Mom picks up the baby and daddy mentally prepares himself for battle. I’m not sure what that brown stain is, but when is a brown stain ever good news to any parent? I readied myself for the worst and inched my nose closer to the offending collar.

I got in there to take my obligatory snort and found myself smiling at the result. It was chocolate, the best possible outcome for such a dirty investigation. Both parents pondered where the mysterious chocolate had come from.

Is Maddie a rogue chocolate runner?

(The dark world of chocolate smuggling)

Is the baby a chocolate mule for some Swiss candy company?

(Where are the profits?)

Did mom have chocolate on her hands?

(Mom’s stance: Deny Deny Deny)

Did poo magically transform into chocolate?

(We can always hope)

Does Maddie poop chocolate?

(Past history would contradict that possibility)

Does dad need his sniffer recalibrated?

(That would be some mistake!)

We will probably never know how Maddie woke up covered in chocolate – but let me leave you with this. It was the most pleasant surprise and the sweetest outcome any parent could have wished for!

Maddie Danger – Always Looking for Trouble

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It’s better if you get behind me

Maddie is doing her best to break out of her play area and make new and amazing discoveries. Unfortunately, many of her new tricks could lead to disaster. Maddie has made it a habit of trying to break free from my arms and launch herself into space.

This would be ok if she could fly or levitate or somehow defy gravity, but her super powers are rather limited. This means that Maddie’s dad is tasked with catching her several times a day before she hits the ground. So far this strategy is working, but it’s very risky and  keeps things very interesting for the both of us.

Maddie has also developed an overwhelming need to try and head-butt the round glass tables in her grandmother’s living room. She hasn’t whapped her head yet, but that is not due to lack of effort on her part.

The baby also loves to practice her free falls. Every time we put her in the pack in play, she stands up and practices falling on her butt. At first glance, it may look she’s falling down by mistake, but after five minutes, it’s apparent that she’s practicing these moves on purpose.

Maddie’s newest mission is to break on through to the other side. She’s decided that the key to her eternal happiness lies beyond the double glass doors that separate the living room from the family room. She pushes herself into the upright position and hopes that one of these doors will magically open for her.

Maddie is a determined young lady and is poised for a major breakthrough – the only question remains is what kind of impact it will have on the rest of us.

Road Warrior Running on Empty

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I need a day off bro!

Maddie obviously has a little too much on her plate right now.

Her mom is on the road – New teeth are breaking through – And she’s racking up the miles. Factor these things together and Maddie is running on a short fuse.

She’s actually dealing with the stress quite well. Most of the issues are once again surfacing during the clothing and diaper changes. It seems like every time we have to change one or the other, Maddie is fighting mad.

She actually screams as if she is being interrogated underneath a long-forgotten Gulag. When other people hear these crazed protests, they worry that the baby must have fallen off of the changing table.

It doesn’t last long – once the change is completed, the baby is all butterscotch and ponies again. We have theorized before that it is always better not to mess with Maddie, but she can’t wear the same clothes all the time.

So, the question is, how do we alter Maddie’s perception that changing her clothes somehow violates her life, liberty and pursuit of happiness? There must be a way to distract her, but so far nothing seems to work.

We’ve gone through this stage before, but her protests have never been so over-the-top as they are now. As always, all suggestions are welcome!

Baby Unleashes Carnage in the Kitchen

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My work is done here!

If it doesn’t involve stairs, Maddie is now more than happy to prove that she can basically access any part of the house that we can. Her ability to motor from point A to point B increases with great efficiency just about every day.

Her new trick is to actually follow me into the kitchen to see what I’m up to and what she might be able accomplish in there. The childproofing has gone pretty well so far, but Maddie is intent on covering every inch of the house, grid-by-grid.

Before launching her latest assault on the kitchen, Maddie confronted a very large package of toilet tissue. With 18 rolls to work on, her hands were full. She thrashed the bag with criminal intent but was unable to punch through the plastic. After about five minutes, it became apparent that the plastic would not yield the paper treasures that were so close, yet so far away.

Now it was time for Maddie to begin her assault on her father who was rummaging around the kitchen. Maddie is by no means stealthy; you can hear those hands slapping the floors several moments before she makes her grand entrance. Yet once she rounds the corner, she is on you.

Her first order of business was to pull the kitchen trashcan down on top of her. With that task out of the way, her next assignment was to gain access to the dishwasher. Much to her disappointment, Maddie was turned away before she could unlock the mysteries hidden deep behind the dishwasher walls.

The baby then proceeded to yank on various cabinet doors to she if could yank them open. Each one held firm, but Maddie vowed that these doors would not be safe for long and she would be back. It was then that we whisked her to her high chair where she could enjoy some nice lasagna.

Maddie enjoyed the taste, but was locked into a moral dilemma. Should she enjoy her meal, spread it all over her face or redecorate the kitchen with it? The answer hit her like a ton of bricks, why not do all three?

Maddie started firing food off the tray and onto the floor. When her Mom tried to clean it up, she got popped as well. The little terrorista was on a roll and didn’t let up until her masterpiece was complete.