Whenever things get quiet in Maddie’s household, that’s when Daddy knows it’s time to spring into action. The deafening sound of silence washed over me from the living room and I darted down the hall into the master bedroom.
I was sharply put out to find Maddie up on our bed which is much higher than most.
“Gina, Did you leave the baby up on the bed?” I growled towards the bathroom.
Before my wife could answer, Maddie started jumping up and down on the bed proclaiming, “I CLIMB, I CLIMB, I CLIMB!”
Two words that struck me like a sharply hit line drive in the forehead – 22-months-old and the monkey is already scaling the bed?
Sure enough, I helped her down and she repeated the reckless action, this time under my supervision. Maddie propped her tiny feet on the base of the box spring and launched herself commando style up onto the bed, clawing and scratching wildly to avoid falling backwards into the abyss.
Once the terrorist conquered the bed before my own eyes, she broke out into wild celebrations with uncontrollable jumping on the bed.
We often read a book to Maddie called, “No More Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.” Clearly, we are not getting through to her.
As many of you already know, Maddie has an interesting habit of kicking off her shoes at the worst possible time. Let’s face it, Maddie has developed potential shoe-loss into an art form.
This morning, Maddie and I were just leaving target when she simultaneously sent both shoes flying. I caught one in the air and had to dig the other one out of basket full of coffee at Starbucks.
No harm done, I stuck the shoes under the cart and headed outside to the car.
I realized that I had never retrieved the shoes from underneath the shopping buggy. Within 30 seconds, we were making our return trip to Target. I pulled up to the shopping cart area, but our cart was gone – Game on!!
I encountered an exceptionally rude woman at the customer service counter (Big Shocker) and asked her if any baby shoes had been turned in. She apparently had forgotten that I was a customer when she replied – “Nahhhh.”
I took this to mean “No” and decided to track down the shopping cart guy.
He was much friendlier than his co-worker, but wasn’t quite with the program.
I started to ask him about Maddie’s shoes, when he blurted out – “Shoes, right??” This was going to be easier than I thought – But it’s never easy in Jersey City.
He absolutely remembered the shoes, but had no idea what he had done with them. He took me back to Ms. Congeniality at the customer service desk and told her that he had turned to the shoes into her. She practically yelled at him, “Naa-Ahh, no you didinttt!!
I looked at the Shopping Cart Jedi and asked, “Think, where did you first find the shoes?”
We combed the store, he went through trashcans, looked at shelves and kept giggling to himself. Finally, I asked him if he had a little “store-item” drawer where he put random store items.
“Ohhh yea,” he exclaimed – He led us to an empty register where there was a shopping cart filled with a smattering of random items – and SUCCESS!!
Shoes On! Better luck next time Maddie!