Childproofing
Lioness Employs Ingenuity for Chips
Sadly, the word “NO” is becoming an increasingly ambiguous term in our household. After devouring a bagel like a ravenous jungle cat, Savannah decided that it was only fair that her Daddy should share his few precious remaining chips with her. Daddy however, did not think that this was a good idea at all.
“Honey, these are my chips. You’ve had breakfast and just finished a bagel.”
“But Daddy, I NEED CHIPPIES”
I placed the tiny plate of chips into the center island of the kitchen. Savannah used her Go Go Gadget arms to snatch her first chip.
I was hoping to enjoy these chips while putting some groceries away.
Next, I opened up a cabinet and placed the chips up on a shelf.
I thought this would solve the problem once and for all. I ran out to the car to get one last bag of groceries and came back to my 3-year-old, crunching yet another chip while elongating herself off at the top of her stool.
I kept looking for higher perches as she followed me around the kitchen with her trusty stool.
In the end, I did get two chips, but it was clear that Savannah has the upper hand.
The Incredible Floating Toes
How is the climbing stage going?
I guess it depends on who you ask.
As far as Maddie’s parents are concerned, the climbing stage isn’t too cool.
Ask Maddie and I’m sure she thinks it going GREAT!
“No crib can hold me,” exclaimed the 18-month-old girl as she prepared to vault into the great abyss.
This is to be expected when you have a toddler that can throw her legs as high as her head and has toes capable of gripping any smooth surface like a gecko lizard.
Maddie vaults on top of tables and chairs with reckless abandon now. This high-risk behavior is on the verge of becoming a serious problem.
Watching my baby, it’s easy to understand the pure folly of human nature.
Like scientists and politicians, Maddie often decides plunges ahead with a course of action rather than pondering the aftermath of what she does. Of course she is only 18-months-old and has time to resolve this risky behavior issue.
Dad Battles Baby’s Sickness, Baby Takes on Trash Can
Just as Maddie was starting to feel better, her Dad got a real taste of exactly what was troubling the baby. Suffice it to say that Mom had to take over sole caretaking responsibilities while dad battled the nasty stomach bug.
While Mom set her sights on Maddie, the baby had a new adversary to tackle.
For weeks now, we have not been able to stop Maddie from digging into the kitchen trash and removing items of interest. It was a game at first, but once it became a contest of wills, there was no stopping Maddie from dumpster diving.
That’s when Maddie’s parents decided to flip the script on the baby.
We tracked down a taller trashcan that’s equipped with a butterfly lid. This lids opens up and out. At first, Maddie was determined to crack the code. She tried to coax the can open. When that didn’t work, it was time for more drastic measures.
Maddie started placing items on top of can and knocking them off. But no matter how much abuse she heaped upon the new can, she couldn’t get inside. It only took about a half an hour for Maddie to lose all interest in the new trashcan.
When you have an opponent like the Mad Madster, you have to celebrate the small victories!
Maddie Rearranging Grandma and Grandpa’s House
Since blowing town in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Maddie has been doing her best to rearrange her grandparent’s house. She’s digging into every drawer and trying to pry open every cabinet.
It’s been a very exciting week chasing Maddie around. She’s also attacking cords and remote controls with reckless abandon. Back at home, there are still multiple living condition issues including no power and no hot water.
So Maddie is burning off as much energy as she can outside. She’s strutting her bear ears and polka dots like nobody’s business.
She’s also experimenting with the challenges presented by gravity. Her grandparents have extreme hills surrounding their home and Maddie loves climbing them almost as much as tumbling down them.
By the time she gets used to her new surroundings, it will be time to head back home and survey the damage.
Baby Cracks Flip Phone Code Overnight
Yesterday Maddie was tearing her hair out because she couldn’t open the flip phone. Today her casual flip and open the phone method rivaled that of James T. Kirk’s dialing up the Starship Enterprisewith his trusty communicator.
This was quite a polished and practiced motion for a girl who seemed more likely to bite the thing in half just last night. But that’s how Maddie rolls, she likes to figure things out on her own and does not want any help. This is all fine and dandy except when it comes more dangerous pursuits like climbing the stairs.
Getting Maddie to come down the stairs backwards has been an exercise in futility. No matter how many times we spin her around, she wants to head off the stairs face first.
Maddie had been dealing with a sour tummy lately, but she rebounded nicely today with a twinkle in her eye and mischief in her heart. Tomorrow is the big event where Maddie travels to western Jersey to spend the day with Grandma. We’ve warned grandma that Maddie is capable of superhuman, mind-numbing speed – but it must be witnessed to be believed. Good luck Grandma!
Baby Stomps All Over Stairs Challenge
A day after complaining about my amazing daughter’s complete disregard for the laws of gravity, things have taken a rather perilous turn for the worst.
Yesterday, Maddie took a keen interest in the stairs. I supervised her very closely as she attempted to actually climb one. At the time, I was very relieved that Maddie was no quite able accomplish this monumental task. However, Maddie the Lion-Hearted is a not girl who takes defeat very easily.
So this morning, one of her first orders of business was to take another shot at the stairs. Imagine my surprise when after just a little experimentation, she was able to scale two stairs. OK, take a deep breath – There’s no reason for me to panic just yet, it was only two stairs. However, the glint in Maddie’s eyes told me that she was just getting warmed up.
So how long would we have to wait before Maddie perfected the art of raiding the stairs? How about just a little less than four hours? That’s right, shortly after Maddie woke up from her afternoon nap, she was off to the races climbing the stairs with reckless abandon.
No fear, no hesitation, Maddie just marched up ten stairs as if she had been doing it since the day after her birth. So now I must enhance my passion for protection as Maddie has laid down the gauntlet for the newest and most dangerous activity to date.
Maddie Danger – Always Looking for Trouble
Maddie is doing her best to break out of her play area and make new and amazing discoveries. Unfortunately, many of her new tricks could lead to disaster. Maddie has made it a habit of trying to break free from my arms and launch herself into space.
This would be ok if she could fly or levitate or somehow defy gravity, but her super powers are rather limited. This means that Maddie’s dad is tasked with catching her several times a day before she hits the ground. So far this strategy is working, but it’s very risky and keeps things very interesting for the both of us.
Maddie has also developed an overwhelming need to try and head-butt the round glass tables in her grandmother’s living room. She hasn’t whapped her head yet, but that is not due to lack of effort on her part.
The baby also loves to practice her free falls. Every time we put her in the pack in play, she stands up and practices falling on her butt. At first glance, it may look she’s falling down by mistake, but after five minutes, it’s apparent that she’s practicing these moves on purpose.
Maddie’s newest mission is to break on through to the other side. She’s decided that the key to her eternal happiness lies beyond the double glass doors that separate the living room from the family room. She pushes herself into the upright position and hopes that one of these doors will magically open for her.
Maddie is a determined young lady and is poised for a major breakthrough – the only question remains is what kind of impact it will have on the rest of us.
Electrical Cords – Let ‘Em Rip
You can childproof all you like, but when it comes to Maddie, “Resistance is Futile!” Sure the stairs are blocked off and the electrical outlets are plugged up, but Maddie comes with a few extra amenities in her magical bag of tricks.
If you follow any of Maddie’s exploits, you know that she is definitely wired for sound. And now that she is racing around the house, the games are absolutely underway.
The baby’s newest trick is what’s known as, “Grip it and Rip it!” Maddie is now constantly on the hunt for electrical cords. Once she sees one, all bets are off – “Go marine, GO!!” Her little knees spring into action and merge into a blur as she closes in on that cord du jour.
You race to intercept Maddie, but she strikes swiftly and without mercy. The cord is hers now and she is more than happy to show you her fresh kill. That’s actually the funniest part of any Maddie misadventure; she loves to display whatever forbidden item she has taken captive.
In just the past week, Maddie has stalked cords belonging to phones, computers and fans. But this weekend, Maddie’s mischievous nature soared to new heights. We were watching the baby on the monitor when everything suddenly went blank? Good lord, what happened?
We burst into the room only to discover that little Miss Mission Impossible had somehow reached behind the crib and torn out the cord to the camera. She was sitting in her crib with an ear-to-ear smile triumphantly waving the plug at me. My little minx is obviously destined for the world of espionage because she CUT HER FIRST VIDEO FEED before she was even 10-months-old.
I can only imagine the places she will take me once she’s a year old.
Baby Unleashes Carnage in the Kitchen
Stay Home PaPa 