Stay Home PaPa

Baby Unleashes Carnage in the Kitchen

Posted on May 28, 2012

If it doesn’t involve stairs, Maddie is now more than happy to prove that she can basically access any part of the house that we can. Her ability to motor from point A to point B increases with great efficiency just about every day.

Her new trick is to actually follow me into the kitchen to see what I’m up to and what she might be able accomplish in there. The childproofing has gone pretty well so far, but Maddie is intent on covering every inch of the house, grid-by-grid.

Before launching her latest assault on the kitchen, Maddie confronted a very large package of toilet tissue. With 18 rolls to work on, her hands were full. She thrashed the bag with criminal intent but was unable to punch through the plastic. After about five minutes, it became apparent that the plastic would not yield the paper treasures that were so close, yet so far away.

Now it was time for Maddie to begin her assault on her father who was rummaging around the kitchen. Maddie is by no means stealthy; you can hear those hands slapping the floors several moments before she makes her grand entrance. Yet once she rounds the corner, she is on you.

Her first order of business was to pull the kitchen trashcan down on top of her. With that task out of the way, her next assignment was to gain access to the dishwasher. Much to her disappointment, Maddie was turned away before she could unlock the mysteries hidden deep behind the dishwasher walls.

The baby then proceeded to yank on various cabinet doors to she if could yank them open. Each one held firm, but Maddie vowed that these doors would not be safe for long and she would be back. It was then that we whisked her to her high chair where she could enjoy some nice lasagna.

Maddie enjoyed the taste, but was locked into a moral dilemma. Should she enjoy her meal, spread it all over her face or redecorate the kitchen with it? The answer hit her like a ton of bricks, why not do all three?

Maddie started firing food off the tray and onto the floor. When her Mom tried to clean it up, she got popped as well. The little terrorista was on a roll and didn’t let up until her masterpiece was complete.