The Volatile World of Burp Negotiation

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How sweet!

One of the constant struggles between the baby and her PaPa is the never-ending battle of the burp. This is a contest of wills that never goes the same way twice. At first glance, who knew that this seemingly simple act would become such a hotly contested issue? To help better understand the stages of burping, we have broken Maddie’s reactions down into categories.

Hostile Takeover:  Sometimes the baby sees the attempt to gain a belch as a hostile takeover and who can blame her? She’s enjoying a nice satisfying meal when some thug robs her of the bottle and chucks her over his shoulder. Maddie is less than impressed by the audacity of such an intrusive act. She strikes back with a series of primeval howls aimed directly into the eardrum of the offending party. This doesn’t actually sidetrack the burping process – it just makes it a little more enjoyable than anyone ever really thought possible.

Fast and the Furious:  This quickfire challenge is truly every parent’s favorite. The moment you push the baby up onto your shoulder – a thunderous burp echoes through the house. No fuss, no muss – just a violent burp that allows the feeding to resume immediately. This is a win-win for all parties involved.

Snickers Burp (Not going anywhere for a while?)  This is when you boost the baby up for a burp and time seems to stand still. Maddie takes her time to enjoy the scenery, think about life and ponder future moves for her fantasy football team. After several minutes, she gets fussy and restless and starts to struggle. During this scenario, it’s actually the struggle that triggers the burp.

Wild Banana:  This is when the baby goes up for the burp and wildly struggles to get down. Her mother refers to this behavior as the “Wild Banana,” because Maddie will kick, punch, head butt and scream to get back to the bottle. This process has it good and bad points. The BAD part is the beating you have to take to get the burp. The good part is that it usually doesn’t take too long.

T-K-O:  The TKO is truly the baby’s version of a technical knock out. You lift the baby up for the feeding and before you know it, you here a very soft purring or growling sound. These sounds mean that Maddie is down for the count. (Sound Asleep!) And this is not just any sleep, but a deep slumber that means mealtime will have to be rescheduled for a later time.

Splashdown:  It’s always important to be prepared for the splashdown!  Your burp cloth should already be strategically in place when the baby begins to spit up copious amounts of that creamy regurgitated milk. We think this action actually takes the place of a good belch, but we have yet to confirm the validity of that statement.

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