shopping
Curious Case of Maddie’s Missing Shoes
As many of you already know, Maddie has an interesting habit of kicking off her shoes at the worst possible time. Let’s face it, Maddie has developed potential shoe-loss into an art form.
This morning, Maddie and I were just leaving target when she simultaneously sent both shoes flying. I caught one in the air and had to dig the other one out of basket full of coffee at Starbucks.
No harm done, I stuck the shoes under the cart and headed outside to the car.
About 15 minutes later, we made it home. I grabbed a bag and was just about to take Maddie out of her seat when I noticed her bare feet. As the Madster likes to say, “UH-OH!”
I realized that I had never retrieved the shoes from underneath the shopping buggy. Within 30 seconds, we were making our return trip to Target. I pulled up to the shopping cart area, but our cart was gone – Game on!!
I encountered an exceptionally rude woman at the customer service counter (Big Shocker) and asked her if any baby shoes had been turned in. She apparently had forgotten that I was a customer when she replied – “Nahhhh.”
I took this to mean “No” and decided to track down the shopping cart guy.
He was much friendlier than his co-worker, but wasn’t quite with the program.
I started to ask him about Maddie’s shoes, when he blurted out – “Shoes, right??” This was going to be easier than I thought – But it’s never easy in Jersey City.
He absolutely remembered the shoes, but had no idea what he had done with them. He took me back to Ms. Congeniality at the customer service desk and told her that he had turned to the shoes into her. She practically yelled at him, “Naa-Ahh, no you didinttt!!
I looked at the Shopping Cart Jedi and asked, “Think, where did you first find the shoes?”
We combed the store, he went through trashcans, looked at shelves and kept giggling to himself. Finally, I asked him if he had a little “store-item” drawer where he put random store items.
“Ohhh yea,” he exclaimed – He led us to an empty register where there was a shopping cart filled with a smattering of random items – and SUCCESS!!
Shoes On! Better luck next time Maddie!
Shopping Trip with Maddie Takes Wrong Turn
Some shopping trips with the Mad Madster are better than others and some are downright painful.
Sometimes a series a events collide leading a father to abandon $60 worth of groceries in a store parking lot to deal with his mischievous one-shoed daughter.
There is one grocery store in Jersey City that we shop at for only a few items at a time. The reason for this is that the shopping carts can’t go more than ten feet out of the entrance because they are blocked in by metal barricades. This critical fact seemed to have slipped my mind as Maddie and I were checking out with far too much to carry.
It all started with a BAD checkout. The rocket scientist bagging the groceries only single-bagged a sack containing a 2-liter bottle and some other items with sharp corners. I failed to notice this because Maddie was trying to pull every item off the belt before the cashier could scan it.
I knew I was in trouble the second we got outside where there was a homeless gentleman was asking to carry my bags. I declined his kind offer and set off into the parking lot with a sense of purpose.
We made it about 20 steps when the shopping bag with the the 2-liter bottle blew apart showering the contents all over the parking lot.
COOOOL!
For some reason, this sent Maddie into a kicking frenzy. Her right foot scored a direct hit on a second bag blasting it apart with more items showering the ground along with her sneaker.
It’s a party now!
Maddie wants to get down and play in the carnage below and the car is no closer than 100 yards away.
Time to leave the groceries where they were (bye bye Maddie and I said together) as we walked away to get in the car.
Once the Mads was safely strapped in, we drove over to the mess where there was a nice man defending our pile of groceries from some curious homeless helpers.
I thanked him, hoping our adventure was over, but Maddie had more games to share with her dad.
Of course there were no parking spaces near our home, so we had to park across the busy street. We parked and the only shopping bag I grabbed to take upstairs with Maddie was her milk. We took two steps from the car when the one-shoed girl seized the bag and swung it towards her head. I had to adjust quickly, but Maddie had a death grip on the bag. I put her down to free the bag, when she whipped the sack across the sidewalk rupturing the third bag of the young morning.
At that point, there was really nothing left to do but take a few pictures.
No Shirt – No Service!
Today Maddie decided that not only was her bib too cumbersome for mealtime, but so was her fleece pullover.
I removed both offending items in an effort to keep the good times rolling at lunch, but that strategy didn’t work out. I kept trying to feed Maddie yogurt, but those dang long sleeve were taunting her after every bite.
She was pulling at them and yelling back at them. (do sleeves yell?)
I’m not sure what those crafty sleeves had done to spark her anger, but there was no turning back.
Would rolling the sleeves up trigger a reversal of fortune? No, of course not – rolling up the sleeves only inflamed a bad situation. Maddie screeched at me to release her from the bondage known as long-sleeves.
The sleeves were dry and they weren’t scratchy, but Maddie made it clear that they were a No-Go. So should I put the baby to bed hungry or should we try the topless option?
I peeled off the offending garment and suddenly a peace settled over the high chair. With no evil sleeves to torment her, Maddie enjoyed the rest of her meal in complete peace.
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Rough Day of Teething Leads to Shopping Therapy
Maddie was up at the crack of dawn to take care of her morning schedule that was packed with stair climbing exhibitions and multiple steps around the house. She was definitely very crusty and even her morning walk could not break her out of the funk.
Surely a little breakfast would help her turn the corner. Nope, not happening. Maddie was extra-crispy with two sides of attitude and had no interest in eating. We wondered if those baby molars were ready to make a push.
We got to lunch with the grandparents with the hope that Maddie could keep herself together during the meal. That apparently was wishful thinking. Maddie started crying as soon as we sat down and wasn’t interested in being comforted by either parent. This is also when we realized that Maddie’s back teeth were knocking at her gums.
The restaurant staff and patrons seemed quite relieved when we began packing up our gear to roll. Once we were in the car, it didn’t take Maddie long to pass out. Once she was asleep, it was time for a stealth mission to Target. The only problem was that Maddie was awake as soon as we pulled up.
We popped her in a cart and she was ready to roll. She had a great deal to say to her fellow shoppers, but at least the crying had stalled. We hit the baby wagon wheel snacks first and Maddie was happy to partake.
We made the rounds and somehow, some way – the baby was at peace. The shopping trip must have been just what the doctor ordered because Maddie spent the rest of the evening laughing and playing with her parents without a care in the world. We are delighted that this put Maddie in a great mood, we just have no idea why it worked.
Baby Cracks Flip Phone Code Overnight
Yesterday Maddie was tearing her hair out because she couldn’t open the flip phone. Today her casual flip and open the phone method rivaled that of James T. Kirk’s dialing up the Starship Enterprisewith his trusty communicator.
This was quite a polished and practiced motion for a girl who seemed more likely to bite the thing in half just last night. But that’s how Maddie rolls, she likes to figure things out on her own and does not want any help. This is all fine and dandy except when it comes more dangerous pursuits like climbing the stairs.
Getting Maddie to come down the stairs backwards has been an exercise in futility. No matter how many times we spin her around, she wants to head off the stairs face first.
Maddie had been dealing with a sour tummy lately, but she rebounded nicely today with a twinkle in her eye and mischief in her heart. Tomorrow is the big event where Maddie travels to western Jersey to spend the day with Grandma. We’ve warned grandma that Maddie is capable of superhuman, mind-numbing speed – but it must be witnessed to be believed. Good luck Grandma!
Soaring Temps Drive the Madster Indoors
Maddie has been enduring the heat like a champ this week. But the early morning walks and visits to the pool are taking a hit as the heat index flirts with the 100-degree range. Maddie has taken a keen interest in all of the geese in the area, but even the birds can’t compete with a 72-degree air-conditioned room with the shades drawn.
So the challenge now is how to keep an outdoor girl entertained while indoors. As always, trashing and shredding paper ranks high on Maddie’s activity schedule. But bumping her head on multiple surfaces is quickly moving up the list. The baby has also discovered the amazing world of yanking open up cabinets and raiding the contents inside.
We also employed a new strategy of taking Maddie shopping at least once a day. The stores are cool and full of people for the baby to stare at and heckle. These trips also give Maddie a chance to sample new and exotic foods including goldfish and teddy grahams.
What been most impressive through out the week is Maddie’s good nature. It’s obvious that she does not care for the oppressive heat, but she’s not letting it dampen her moods at all. She’s been simply content to fight through the heat and appreciate all the time she is spending indoors.
Let’s Pick Up the Pace Pal
For several months now, Maddie has been what you might call a shopping enthusiast. Each trip to the store is an adventure with plenty of people to stare at and various loose items to yank off of the shelves. So normally when we pop into a store together, it’s high times for the Madster.
Now this isn’t to say that I ever walk into a store empty-handed. I always make sure that I am armed with a formidable array of snacks and goodies in case the baby stumbles upon a rough patch. So we arrived at the store without fanfare and made our way to the baby section.
As I always do, I consulted Maddie from aisle to aisle making sure to keep her in the loop and help me with our purchasing process. However, after just a few minutes, it became apparent that my associate was quickly losing interest in our little shopping expedition.
I tried to keep her engaged, but it was a losing battle. As we turned the next aisle, Maddie started emitting a series of exaggerated sighs. As often happens, I was unable to contain my growing amusement with the baby’s antics. She quickly recognized this and decided that it was time for a standoff. Maddie interlaced her fingers behind her head and leaned back to share her state of overwhelming boredom with me.
I realized this was my cue to pick up the pace and get us checked out. Maddie resumed her theatrics and I made sure she didn’t have to wait too long before we were on our way. But there is no denying that this girl is a true entertainer.
Stay Home PaPa 