real food

Baby Becomes Hard Drinking Woman

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Maddie Baits and Switches Her Grandpa

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Trust me, I’m much more interesting than 300 stories!

Even when she’s chowing down, Maddie is unable to curb her mischievous nature. Proof of this surfaced yet again during lunchtime with the grandparents.

As usual, Maddie was enjoying various samples from around the table. However, her favorite food during this lunch period was definitely spaghetti. Spaghetti is awesome because of its amazing gaming potential.

Maddie made sure to catch her grandfather’s eye as she was making a lasso with a small string of my pasta. She very sweetly held out her hand to grandpa offering to share some of that delicious spaghetti with him. Touched by the gesture, he gently reached out to accept her tender offering.

As soon as his hand was about six inches away, she snatched the pasta away and slammed it into her mouth. Then she made small grunting noises as she feasted on not just the food, but also her victory. The whole table erupted into laughter as Maddie chomped on her false offering.

Encouraged by the raucous laughter, this game included about three more rounds as her grandfather was also an eager participant. Once again, that stunning little personality is growing into a true force of nature.

Baby Captures Her First Pigeon

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You told me it was duck!

I tried to explain the catch and release policy to Maddie regarding the trapping of city pigeons, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. We were in the city park today when a bold pigeon ventured a little too close to Maddie and her treasured bagel. My 10-month-old bundle of joy shot out of the crib snatching the unsuspecting bird straight out of the air.

The poor flying rat never stood a chance. We wrapped him up and took it home for a little impromptu lunch. This is when I remembered that I had some fantastic duck waiting for us in the refrigerator. It was sure to be more tender than the pigeon and perhaps not quite as gamey.

What I didn’t anticipate is how much Maddie would enjoy this new type of meat. I gave her a drumstick to work over and she was hooked. As soon as she jammed the bone into her mouth, her mighty jaws snapped it cleanly in half. She was quite content to gnaw on Daffy’s remains until all the meat was gone from the shredded bird.

As Maddie’s appetite ramps up, so does her enthusiasm for eating. She hasn’t gained any weight in nearly a month, but she seems to be getting taller by the day. Her propensity for immersing herself into the middle of mischief is quickly becoming the stuff legends are made of.

Mommy Joins Maddie for Lightning Lunch Break

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I’m getting a puppy??

After getting a bit of rest, Maddie was in search of a little action for her lunch break on Friday afternoon.  And as luck would have it, her mom had just enough time to squeeze in lunch with the family. We met at a local spot called the Liberty House with amazing views of Lower Manhattan.  At this point, even Maddie seemed impressed.

That is until we sat down.  I don’t know if her seat had electricity coursing through it, but she instantly started thrashing around like there were ants in her pants. I whipped out a dried plum just in time to calm the savage beast – but it was obvious that Maddie was a little too pumped up. We had to stay on top of her before she was able to put together a special shock and awe campaign for her fellow diners.

We used a variety of Jedi Mind Tricks including food and entertainment to keep the baby in a civil frame of mind. Much to our surprise, things were shaping up very nicely. The food came out fast, but Maddie’s patience had finally run out. Just as her meltdown was taking shape, the server saved our skin with a box of crayons.

We took the crayons through our normal progression of keeping Maddie’s interest for as long as possible. First we helped her examine the box before releasing the crayons inside. Maddie seemed interested in the coloring aspect for a while, but soon lost interest and was ready to start chomping on them.

The baby took great offense when she realized that she would be allowed to eat the crayons and it obvious that it was time wrap things up. We thanked the waiter, called for the check and started giving Maddie a quick tour of the grounds. Even though it was brief lunch, we all had a great time and can’t wait to do it again.


Baby’s Shopping Spit Up Challenge

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I once caught a fish this big!
Today had the look of one of those rare very easy shopping days with the Mad Madster. This was surprising because her incoming teeth aren’t pulling any punches. Maddie kept grinding them together with reckless abandon. But after she woke up from a nap this morning, I didn’t give her any time to focus on those aching gums.
 
I fed her a quick bottle, she burped and we were out the door. We enjoyed a quick trip across town and in no time at all we shopping like a pair of champs. Maddie looked spectacular in her shining new shopping car seat cover, although according to her mother, I encountered a few fashion faux pas pitfalls when I dressed the baby. So be it!
 
Maddie and I tore around the store in the shopping cart at about 60 mph while our fellow shoppers were diving for cover. We rounded the corned at frozen foods and caused one gentlemen to climb in with the frozen peas to avoid our armored assault shopping cart.
 
Maddie even snatched a quick latte out of a barista’s hand as we zoomed past the store’s built-in Starbucks. The baby started getting fired up as we neared the check out line so I grabbed her a nice fluffy bag of animal cookies. She beat the bag mercilessly trying to force her way inside. She was obviously determined to bite the heads off of any of the offending animal crackers.
 
The bag held off Maddie and we were back home in record time. That’s what I call a successful shopping trip. I scooped up Maddie and the shopping bags and started the long journey up 3 flights of stairs. Half way up the second set of stairs, Maddie
struck!
 
Without warning, she spit on me and someplace else that I couldn’t immediately identify. As I got to the top of the stairs, I saw that Maddie had spit up on two of the shopping bags.  
 
The spit up slowly dripped off of each bag and managed to hit about 16 of the 20 plus steps we had just climbed. I stood at the top of the steps while Maddie admired her latest handiwork. She looked up at me with the crooked grin that seemed to say, “Have fun with that, daddy!”

The Many Faces of Mashed Potatoes

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I came ready to eat!

It was with great pleasure today to finally introduce Maddie to one of life’s great pleasures – The amazing world of mashed potatoes.

If there is a better food out there, I am unfamiliar with it. So after a day fraught with bagel pieces, water melon and strained prunes, Maddie deserved a real treat.

We all sat down for a nice dinner. The baby started off with strawberries, as mom and dad were ready for meat and mashed potatoes. I was about to sit down when Maddie’s mom suggested that maybe it was time to share some mashed magic with the baby.

Wear it like you ate it!

What an idea – but I wondered, would Maddie embrace “squished taters” like her dad? This has been my favorite food since I can remember and it’s always been a private joke in my family.

So how would the baby react to her first taste of mashed gold? I reverently placed a small portion on Maddie’s tray. She eyed it suspiciously at first, but then reached out and grabbed a handful. She worked the strange mixture between her fingers getting a good feel for it. Just as we were wondering if she would ever bother to taste it, she jammed some into her mouth.

Then two things happened, she smiled at the taste but was confused by the consistency. Maddie continued to work that mouthful of potatoes, trying to decide if the taste was worth the work. Two helpings later, Maddie was ready to join a long list of nationwide mashed potato lovers! Welcome to the club Maddie!

Where have these been all my life?