NASCAR

Time Crawls When You’re Having Fun

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You can't rush into a thing like crawling

Maddie has run into a snag as she prepares for this weekend’s Daytona 500. The challenge is that she still can’t sit up and can only crawl backwards. That’s going to make her driving in this week’s race a real challenge.

Maddie is not short on strength in any way shape or form, but at this point, she’s not really interested in crawling. She gets a ton of tummy time and is sitting up like a champ, but that is as far as her interest goes.

To be honest, I’m in no hurry for her to become mobile. Keeping up with her now is more than enough of a challenge. This despite the fact that she isn’t even running or crawling yet.

There’s also the looming challenge of childproofing the house and the stairs. I have studied the checklists and they seem rather extensive. Once the checklists are complete, experts advise that parents crawl through the house to get a good look at rooms through the eyes of their baby.

Probably the biggest challenge we face is the Berlin Wall we will have to erect to keep the Madster away from our massive sets of stairs.

Maddie already loves to grab and tip things over, so I can only imagine that the allure of our perilous stairwells will be almost too much to bear. But for now, it’s all butterscotch and ponies for us. Maddie is content to take it easy while I save up the valuable energy necessary for the challenge of chasing her later.

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Pink Power Stuns Danica Patrick

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Heads up Danica, RUBBING is RACING!

Danica Patrick was not hurt after crashing her number ten car during today’s Daytona qualifier run. As the newest member of Tony Stewart’s team, Danica has a great deal to think about as she makes her transition to the NASCAR circuit. Well today she got one more item to add to her list of headaches.

Patrick will now have to deal with another rough and tumble female at this week’s Daytona 500. The Mad Madster threw her hat into the ring and will be ripping around the track in her 300 horsepower pink fire-eater pictured above. Maddie says the team has her car ready to go. She says the newly installed spinning pinwheels have added a level a stability no one thought possible.

For now, NASCAR is satisfied that Maddie’s pink monster meets all the specs. Inspectors were concerned about the low cut windscreen, but at 24 inches high, any debris will likely fly right over her car

Maddie is a fearless competitor who’s never been afraid to trade a little paint. Her warrior-like headband is sure to put the fear of God into anybody behind the wheel at this weekend’s race classic.

Maddie even took a test run around the bedroom this morning. No official speed has been recorded due to the fact that we couldn’t stop the baby from practicing her victory donuts in the hallway.

Despite her racing prowess, she comes into this weekend’s race as the underdog. Recent teething issues have taken a bite out of her normal practice schedule, but she insists that she is chomping at the bit to the win the whole dang thing.

Tony Stewart, who has Danica on his team, did a little trash talking before today’s practice run calling Maddie a “little pink princess.” Maddie responded by saying that if she and little Anthony have a run in on the track, he’s gonna need all the spare parts that Home Depot can deliver because he’s going into the wall.

As for Danica, she had nothing but praise for the youngest driver ever to hit the circuit. She says that expanding racing to children under 7-months-old is a bold step and good for the sport. She looks forward to what she calls the Maddie challenge despite the fact that Danica will be in a backup car after today’s unfortunate wreck.