As many of you already know, Maddie has an interesting habit of kicking off her shoes at the worst possible time. Let’s face it, Maddie has developed potential shoe-loss into an art form.
This morning, Maddie and I were just leaving target when she simultaneously sent both shoes flying. I caught one in the air and had to dig the other one out of basket full of coffee at Starbucks.
No harm done, I stuck the shoes under the cart and headed outside to the car.
I realized that I had never retrieved the shoes from underneath the shopping buggy. Within 30 seconds, we were making our return trip to Target. I pulled up to the shopping cart area, but our cart was gone – Game on!!
I encountered an exceptionally rude woman at the customer service counter (Big Shocker) and asked her if any baby shoes had been turned in. She apparently had forgotten that I was a customer when she replied – “Nahhhh.”
I took this to mean “No” and decided to track down the shopping cart guy.
He was much friendlier than his co-worker, but wasn’t quite with the program.
I started to ask him about Maddie’s shoes, when he blurted out – “Shoes, right??” This was going to be easier than I thought – But it’s never easy in Jersey City.
He absolutely remembered the shoes, but had no idea what he had done with them. He took me back to Ms. Congeniality at the customer service desk and told her that he had turned to the shoes into her. She practically yelled at him, “Naa-Ahh, no you didinttt!!
I looked at the Shopping Cart Jedi and asked, “Think, where did you first find the shoes?”
We combed the store, he went through trashcans, looked at shelves and kept giggling to himself. Finally, I asked him if he had a little “store-item” drawer where he put random store items.
“Ohhh yea,” he exclaimed – He led us to an empty register where there was a shopping cart filled with a smattering of random items – and SUCCESS!!
Shoes On! Better luck next time Maddie!
Some shopping trips with the Mad Madster are better than others and some are downright painful.
Sometimes a series a events collide leading a father to abandon $60 worth of groceries in a store parking lot to deal with his mischievous one-shoed daughter.
There is one grocery store in Jersey City that we shop at for only a few items at a time. The reason for this is that the shopping carts can’t go more than ten feet out of the entrance because they are blocked in by metal barricades. This critical fact seemed to have slipped my mind as Maddie and I were checking out with far too much to carry.
It all started with a BAD checkout. The rocket scientist bagging the groceries only single-bagged a sack containing a 2-liter bottle and some other items with sharp corners. I failed to notice this because Maddie was trying to pull every item off the belt before the cashier could scan it.
I knew I was in trouble the second we got outside where there was a homeless gentleman was asking to carry my bags. I declined his kind offer and set off into the parking lot with a sense of purpose.
We made it about 20 steps when the shopping bag with the the 2-liter bottle blew apart showering the contents all over the parking lot.
For some reason, this sent Maddie into a kicking frenzy. Her right foot scored a direct hit on a second bag blasting it apart with more items showering the ground along with her sneaker.
It’s a party now!
Maddie wants to get down and play in the carnage below and the car is no closer than 100 yards away.
Time to leave the groceries where they were (bye bye Maddie and I said together) as we walked away to get in the car.
Once the Mads was safely strapped in, we drove over to the mess where there was a nice man defending our pile of groceries from some curious homeless helpers.
I thanked him, hoping our adventure was over, but Maddie had more games to share with her dad.
Of course there were no parking spaces near our home, so we had to park across the busy street. We parked and the only shopping bag I grabbed to take upstairs with Maddie was her milk. We took two steps from the car when the one-shoed girl seized the bag and swung it towards her head. I had to adjust quickly, but Maddie had a death grip on the bag. I put her down to free the bag, when she whipped the sack across the sidewalk rupturing the third bag of the young morning.
At that point, there was really nothing left to do but take a few pictures.
Maddie has never been a child who ever kept a pair of socks on for more than five minutes in her life. Now that she is walking, her parents face the impossible task of getting the baby to wear shoes. Hmmm, how did they not see that coming?
Let’s face it, we can’t have Jane of the Jungle running around parks, sidewalks and pools without protection for her feet. Somehow, Maddie missed the memo. The baby is determined to crush the institution of wearing shoes. Maddie is already studying the same infamous battle strategies she used during her previous campaigns against socks.
Socks couldn’t stand up to Maddie and she firmly believes that shoes will be no different.
Step 1: Always be prepared to strike without mercy. Maddie makes sure to start struggling with her shoes the second they are placed upon her feet.
Step 2: Complain vigorously. If the shoes don’t fall off, launch verbal assaults against the guilty parties who put the shoes on her in the first place.
Step 3: As soon as one shoe comes off, fire that bad boy off into space. The farther the parent has to chase the shoe, the more time you have to remove the other one.
Step 3-A: What works even better is to the drop the offending shoe or shoes into a perilous area. If the shoe winds up on a busy street or on the train tracks, that’s a big win. The shoe may be impossible to recover or possibly destroyed.
Step 4: Remove the shoe quietly and discard it while the parent is focused elsewhere. You never know when it might become a chew toy for a dog or large rat.