Maddie Shows Gremlins How It’s Done

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Gremlins can learn a great deal from Maddie!

My baby girl is absolutely as cute as can be – but when it comes to feeding time, her eating habits become a spectacle that would make the most rabid of Gremlins green with envy.

Maddie doesn’t actually grow the ears and teeth like a Gremlin – but the noises that come from her when she’s really ready to eat, stretch the boundaries and fabric of reality.

Stage one begins with stunted grunts. These noises are very similar to the sounds that come from a very anxious pug. There’s no turning back now – her little shuttle is belching fire and a full conflagration is just moments away.

Stage two is the desperation gulping. Maddie is convinced that someone is hiding in the shadows waiting to sweep away her nourishment at any moment. Therefore she must drink like the wind before the milk-goblins sneak in to snatch her stash of mother’s milk.

Stage three is when Maddie degrades into the same madcap Gremlins that mistakenly got fed after midnight. Pandemonium ensues, complete with snapping, breaking plates and panic in the streets. But there is a distinct difference between the Gremlins and Maddie – her noises are actually very cute. They are urgent, high-pitched squeaks – which gives the whole situation the cute and comical spin that only babies can produce.

Her intensity is off the charts and if she loses contact for even a moment – her lungs send out shock waves that cause the buildings to sway as far away as Midtown Manhattan.

But all of this frenetic activity comes at a price – the second her hunger is satisfied – she plunges into a deep food coma.

Maddie wants to make sure she has your full attention. Her moods and habits are nothing short of an adventure even though they are always bound to change at any minute. One thing is for sure – you never know where Maddie might take you next.