Weighing in at 7 pounds, 14 ounces and 20 inches long, the little girl made her smashing debut on the banks of the Hudson River. Gina was brave beyond measure and I am in awe of her.
Water broken, but our little princess is surely taking her time. Contractions firing on all cylinders. Cue Ridin’ by Chamillionaire because Mom needs a little perscription. Dang, I done spilled my drink!
Pregnant Women are Strong – Here Honey squeeze my hand – Whoops – crush injury – Reconstructive hand surgery scheduled for shortly after we deliver the baby. Staff says I may lose the arm from elbow down. Damn this war!
Cue Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd – Time for the Epidural – ahhhhh, that’s what I’m talking about – even better than box wine!
Cue Danger Zone, Top Gun theme – Gina dons oxygen mask looking like Tom Cruise (I will not leave my wingman) and requests that the baby buzz the tower – STILL no joy – but the mask makes a true fashion statement.
Gina is 10 cm now – starting to get restless until I pull out the US weekly – please everyone, pray for my girl Jay-Lo!
Not going anywhere for a while… Using Almond Joys to bait the child out of hiding
Gina asked what the market was doing. I told her it was getting creamed. Then she asked me what sectors were under-performing. Ummmmmmm?
Gina sleeping as I undertake stealthy bed making maneuvers. Slight miscalculation leads to loud crash. Pregnant wife not overly entertained.
IV knocked loose – blood and fluid oozing onto the bed.
More proof that child birth is good clean fun!
Evil vending machine holding Mounds bar hostage – rescue operations under consideration.
And we are walking the halls.
Still no joy in Mudville!
Doc breaks water during contraction – Things are heating up!!
Upon arriving at the hospital, the doctor asks us, “So why are you guys here?” Nothing like a sense of humor!
I try Chopin’s Nocturn in F-Sharp to induce labor.
We switch to Beethoven.
Gina is pacing back and forth.
I’m bouncing a tennis ball to hit an imaginary serve when Gina proclaims: “Look at us! Type-A people should not be allowed to pro-create!”
23:00 Rap Inspiration:
Classical music not inducing labor. Switch to Ice Cube, “You can do it, put your back into it!”
She decided that the 28th just wasn’t good enough!