Electrical Cords – Let ‘Em Rip

Posted on Updated on

Your connection has been terminated

You can childproof all you like, but when it comes to Maddie, “Resistance is Futile!” Sure the stairs are blocked off and the electrical outlets are plugged up, but Maddie comes with a few extra amenities in her magical bag of tricks.

If you follow any of Maddie’s exploits, you know that she is definitely wired for sound.  And now that she is racing around the house, the games are absolutely underway.

The baby’s newest trick is what’s known as, “Grip it and Rip it!” Maddie is now constantly on the hunt for electrical cords. Once she sees one, all bets are off – “Go marine, GO!!” Her little knees spring into action and merge into a blur as she closes in on that cord du jour.

You race to intercept Maddie, but she strikes swiftly and without mercy. The cord is hers now and she is more than happy to show you her fresh kill. That’s actually the funniest part of any Maddie misadventure; she loves to display whatever forbidden item she has taken captive.

I have become a hunter!

In just the past week, Maddie has stalked cords belonging to phones, computers and fans. But this weekend, Maddie’s mischievous nature soared to new heights. We were watching the baby on the monitor when everything suddenly went blank? Good lord, what happened?

We burst into the room only to discover that little Miss Mission Impossible had somehow reached behind the crib and torn out the cord to the camera. She was sitting in her crib with an ear-to-ear smile triumphantly waving the plug at me. My little minx is obviously destined for the world of espionage because she CUT HER FIRST VIDEO FEED before she was even 10-months-old.

I can only imagine the places she will take me once she’s a year old.

Baby Unleashes Carnage in the Kitchen

Posted on

My work is done here!

If it doesn’t involve stairs, Maddie is now more than happy to prove that she can basically access any part of the house that we can. Her ability to motor from point A to point B increases with great efficiency just about every day.

Her new trick is to actually follow me into the kitchen to see what I’m up to and what she might be able accomplish in there. The childproofing has gone pretty well so far, but Maddie is intent on covering every inch of the house, grid-by-grid.

Before launching her latest assault on the kitchen, Maddie confronted a very large package of toilet tissue. With 18 rolls to work on, her hands were full. She thrashed the bag with criminal intent but was unable to punch through the plastic. After about five minutes, it became apparent that the plastic would not yield the paper treasures that were so close, yet so far away.

Now it was time for Maddie to begin her assault on her father who was rummaging around the kitchen. Maddie is by no means stealthy; you can hear those hands slapping the floors several moments before she makes her grand entrance. Yet once she rounds the corner, she is on you.

Her first order of business was to pull the kitchen trashcan down on top of her. With that task out of the way, her next assignment was to gain access to the dishwasher. Much to her disappointment, Maddie was turned away before she could unlock the mysteries hidden deep behind the dishwasher walls.

The baby then proceeded to yank on various cabinet doors to she if could yank them open. Each one held firm, but Maddie vowed that these doors would not be safe for long and she would be back. It was then that we whisked her to her high chair where she could enjoy some nice lasagna.

Maddie enjoyed the taste, but was locked into a moral dilemma. Should she enjoy her meal, spread it all over her face or redecorate the kitchen with it? The answer hit her like a ton of bricks, why not do all three?

Maddie started firing food off the tray and onto the floor. When her Mom tried to clean it up, she got popped as well. The little terrorista was on a roll and didn’t let up until her masterpiece was complete.

Winds of Change Taxing the Baby

Posted on Updated on

I’m going to need a moment before you speak to me.

With so many developmental changes assaulting the Mad Madster, it’s no wonder she’s feeling just a bit overwhelmed right now. Today she launched a full frontal assault aimed at none other than her dear old dad.

We seemed to be having a grand old time this morning. Maddie was tearing up a magazine with great vigor and right or wrong, I was letting her pursue this course of action. However, when she tore out a page and tried to stuff it in her mouth, I had to intervene.

I grabbed the offending page as it was going into Maddie’s mouth. At the time, this seemed to be a reasonable course of action, but Maddie did not see it that way. Taking that piece of paper away from her was apparently a capital offense.

She screamed, she fussed, she pouted – and that was just the beginning. For the better part of an hour, Maddie let her dad have it and then some. She was about as angry as I have ever seen her.

It didn’t take long for me to understand that this wasn’t about the non-edible paper, but something much more complicated. I think Maddie’s rapid development is temporarily getting the best of her.

The baby is trying desperately to communicate with us. She’s working on her standing, crawling and eating skills and is meeting new people everyday. All of this stimulation has to confusing, exhausting and probably downright frightening. Maddie is also craving the one thing I obviously can’t provide for her, more female interaction.

So I have to take my lumps with a smile for now and hope she feels a little better tomorrow. There’s a great deal on her plate and she needs all the support we can offer. It’s not fun to see her struggle like this, but I know she’s a “toughie” and will bounce back happier than ever.

Maddie Stands and Delivers

Posted on

I’m not sure what the big deal is

It’s all literally happened in the past ten days. We had a 9-month-old with no ambition to really crawl or stand up. In the blink of an eye, it has all changed. Maddie crawls around the house at break-neck speed and stood up for close to five minutes without any assistance this afternoon.

Maddie boycotted crawling for some time. She was transporting herself with scoots and rolls, but the crawling thing just wasn’t clicking. FEAR NOT! The girl is on a roll now and trying to slow down a force of nature is an exercise in futility.

There is no more relaxed sitting for dad unless she in held captive in her pack and play. Her attention span is equal to that of mongoose that just put away a 12-pack of Mountain Dew. So anything that falls into her field of vision pops this powerful machine into fifth gear with a touch of afterburners.

The same thing happened with Maddie and her ability to stand. We propped her up a few times and now it’s her life goal to set some kind of baby-standing endurance record. I set Maddie up on one of her toys this afternoon and she just stood there for about five minutes.

Where did all of this strength and mobility come from? This girl is a wrecking machine from the word go. I am so impressed (I know, I hide it well) but her rapid advancement is something to watch. During the time I tried to write this story, I placed her across the room at least six times – she crawled right back over to me every time.

The only problem is that it’s all happening in the blink of an eye. If anyone has any suggestions on how to slow down this amazing time with Maddie, please speak up now!

Rolling Baby Racking up the Miles

Posted on Updated on

My skills continue to impress
So Maddie is rolling now. This is not a metaphor, my 9-month-old daughter spent the entire morning rolling all over the living room. She can roll left or right, onto her stomach or onto her back. And although its true that a rolling baby gathers no moss, it is a parental workout of epic proportions. Cue “Rollin” by Lymp Bizkit!

The biggest pitfall of baby rolling is that she is not equipped with a crash helmet and therefore her melon is susceptible to injury. So while Maddie rolls along the floor, I’m running (actually rolling) interference to make sure the princess is safe.
Despite my safety concerns, Maddie was also able to charm me into submission despite her antics. I smiled at her from more than six feet away which prompted an attempted a visit. It took Maddie about three rolls to cover the distance and very quickly she was at my feet. I was most impressed and she could tell.
Maddie is also very pleased with her new skill and is determined to perfect it through multiple repetitions. I tried to take Maddie outside for a break, but that didn’t go over well. She complained the whole time because she actually wanted to get back in and go to work.
I think it would be a little easier to deal with if she were crawling instead. So after working on some more commando rolls, I put the baby in the highchair for a little lunch
She snacked very lightly and was pretty grumpy. Before I knew it, her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she had fallen asleep in the high chair. This has never happened before, but she’s also never spent the morning circumventing the living room one flip at a time.
I gently lifted her out of the chair and made a beeline for the crib. She was asleep within seconds and her dad was completely wiped out. Now its a wait and see game to see if Maddie will eventually get bored with all of this rolling or if she is determined to roll right over her dad.

Why Crawl When You Can Scoot?

Posted on Updated on

I choose an alternative mode of transport!
Is it better to scoot or is it better to crawl? This is an age-old question that has plagued scholars for hundreds of years. That last statement may not be true. I’m not sure I have ever heard of a “scooting” baby but I know from personal experience that they do exist.
As a matter of fact, my 9-month-old baby girl Maddie has decided to skip crawling and enter the mysterious world of the scoot.
Maddie really had us fooled this weekend. We thought for sure she was ready to start crawling up a storm. She’s been assuming the crawl position for some time now. She has also become quite the expert at flipping from her back to tummy or vice-a-versa. However, since all of her past forward facing efforts have led to moving backwards, she devised the perfect alternative – – – the SCOOT.
If Maddie sees something she wants in front of her, she scooches on her bottom or lays on her side and kind of slithers in the direction of the item until she has it in her clutches. Say what you will, but the fact that my daughter has snubbed the institution of crawling and still manages to move herself from point A to point B is pretty impressive.
This mini-MacGyver is snatching the items that she wants through sheer will and determination. Granted this is not the most efficient or expedient way to take care of business, but for now it works for her.
It also means that I have a longer time-horizon to build steel cages and dig moats to keep Maddie from escaping down long and treacherous flights of stairs once she learns to pick up speed.