Playtex Baby Bottles, Bad from the Bottom Up!

Posted on January 27, 2012 Updated on January 27, 2012

Must you burden me with these defective bottles?

For the last six months, I have forced myself not to waste any space on this topic. Today, the wonderful people at Playtex have finally broken me down.

If you work for Playtex, it’s probably better that you skip this article. I don’t know anything about any other Playtex products, but its baby bottle division should be shuttered today. I mean clear out the plant and have it hermetically sealed so that the atmosphere is not contaminated by its vapors of ineptitude.

For such a simple device as a baby’s bottle, I have run into leaky bottles far too many times to mention. When getting a bottle ready to feed my sweet six-month-old daughter, I rate my chances of success at somewhere below 70 percent. That’s never good when you have a baby that is adamant about being fed in a timely manner.

For the first couple weeks of parenting you just blame yourself. I must be doing it wrong – maybe the bottom isn’t on properly, the sun was in my eyes, blah, blah, blah. But after preparing 4 to 6 bottles a day for six months – I have a pretty good idea of how the process is supposed to work. However, despite my best efforts, the bottles still leak, time and time again. Sometimes it leaks in the sink, other times all over the baby and most of the time on me.

Maybe I just got one bad batch of bottles? No dice. I have replaced the bottles on too many occasions. Sometimes by the pack, sometimes individually – but about 3 out of every ten bottles still spring the mysterious leak.

Why not get rid of the bad ones? Tried that to. Started cutting them in half after each mishap. This just led to a bottle shortage in the house.

When you constantly face a 30% chance of failure for something as simple as making a bottle – it can become a bit frustrating. Like most things in today’s society, these bottles are obviously designed to break down quickly. I suppose that’s supposed to be a good marketing strategy, but I’m not a big fan.

I think we would actually have more luck with one of those beer bong hats. It only took me 6-months to figure it out, but rest assured, Playtex has worn out its welcome for our baby!