Baby Detonates Explosive Banana

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EBD - Explosive Banana Device

My wife and I had a pretty good idea that things would start to change once the baby began eating solid foods – but before tonight we never knew about the power of the banana blast. Within five minutes of our solid food efforts, we had to call in a crime scene technician to conduct a banana spatter analysis of the entire kitchen.

We’ve been eating as a family for the past couple days, enjoying our dinner while feeding Maddie at the same time. Until tonight, this was proving to be a sound strategy – but little did we know that Maddie had added a little bit of banana terrorism to the menu.

The feeding began the same way each night; we gave Maddie a chunk of banana to sample before spoon-feeding her the leftover puréed fruit. Maddie was actually quite hungry for the treat tonight and that would prove to be our undoing.

Maddie was eagerly alternating between her chunks and spoonfuls and everything was seemingly under control. Suddenly the baby latched onto the spoon, gave a little diversionary sneeze and detonated another banana she must have had hidden under her bib.

The immediate blast radius was speckled with puréed banana – it was all over the counter and even her bumbo chair. Maddie’s face was littered with banana goop, as were her hands, neck and even her feet. This could only mean one thing – time for a bath.

I scooped up my little banana split and made our way to the bathroom. We plucked off her banana-laden clothing, along with her socks and leggings and got her into the tub. It was only when I was drying her that I noticed that my clothing was also pockmarked in several places with her eloquent banana splatter.

I’m sure this is only the first of many incidents, my only true regret is that we did not catch a picture of this attack so we could forward it to the proper authorities.

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