Baby Detonates Explosive Banana

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EBD - Explosive Banana Device

My wife and I had a pretty good idea that things would start to change once the baby began eating solid foods – but before tonight we never knew about the power of the banana blast. Within five minutes of our solid food efforts, we had to call in a crime scene technician to conduct a banana spatter analysis of the entire kitchen.

We’ve been eating as a family for the past couple days, enjoying our dinner while feeding Maddie at the same time. Until tonight, this was proving to be a sound strategy – but little did we know that Maddie had added a little bit of banana terrorism to the menu.

The feeding began the same way each night; we gave Maddie a chunk of banana to sample before spoon-feeding her the leftover puréed fruit. Maddie was actually quite hungry for the treat tonight and that would prove to be our undoing.

Maddie was eagerly alternating between her chunks and spoonfuls and everything was seemingly under control. Suddenly the baby latched onto the spoon, gave a little diversionary sneeze and detonated another banana she must have had hidden under her bib.

The immediate blast radius was speckled with puréed banana – it was all over the counter and even her bumbo chair. Maddie’s face was littered with banana goop, as were her hands, neck and even her feet. This could only mean one thing – time for a bath.

I scooped up my little banana split and made our way to the bathroom. We plucked off her banana-laden clothing, along with her socks and leggings and got her into the tub. It was only when I was drying her that I noticed that my clothing was also pockmarked in several places with her eloquent banana splatter.

I’m sure this is only the first of many incidents, my only true regret is that we did not catch a picture of this attack so we could forward it to the proper authorities.

Maddie Impresses Parents by Going Bananas in 2012

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Now we're cooking!

What better time for Maddie to take her first bite of real food than on her very first New Year’s Day? For a couple weeks now, Maddie has been keeping extremely close tabs on anybody who has been eating around her. She is a very inquisitive and observant 5-month-old girl and we had the feeling that she was ready to give this eating thing a try.

I was working on dinner this evening when Maddie’s mom walked into the kitchen and suggested that now was the time! Earlier in the week, we agreed to begin the baby’s solid food career with the one fruit that we always keep in the house – bananas!

We set Maddie up in her chair, snapped on a bumbo tray and broke off a small wedge of banana for her to sample. Now we don’t want anyone to panic, we’re not trying to choke the baby, I held onto the banana chunk while Maddie tested it out for to see if passed her street creds standard. The idea was to try and get the baby interested in the taste, before actually seeing if she wanted to try and eat some.

Maddie likes to taste her toys, so it stood to reason that she would be willing the sample the banana wedge. After a few licks and a surprising smile, could New Year’s Day be the big breakthrough for Maddie?

I dipped the spoon into the crushed banana and gently placed it into Maddie’s mouth. She pushed it around a little bit with her tongue and then shocked both parents when she closed her mouth and swallowed it!

Even when she eats, Maddie is far too cute for her own good.

Thinking it might be a fluke, I tried another spoonful and after some deliberation, she swallowed another portion. We finally suspended feeding after about four spoonfuls. Aside from a few wrestling matches over the spoon, Maddie’s first eating endeavor was a real success. I just want to be careful not to rush things, her infancy seems to flashing before my eyes.

Baby Trades in Feeding Time for Mortal Kombat

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Finish him!

It’s staggering how fast Maddie’s eating habits can change in just two days. The baby still can’t hold her own bottle, but she’s all over that thing like a spider monkey.

With all the excitement around eating time, Maddie is gripping, clawing, swatting and pulling anything within reach. Nothing is out of bounds including her face, the feeder’s face and of course the bottle itself. This makes the feeding process into a Mortal Kombat simulation where one must be ready to counter her fatal thrusts at any time.

After a scratch to the arm or the bottle is knocked loose from your hand, Maddie senses that her foe is on the ropes and prepares for her kill shot. Now the hunter has become the hunted as she lets out her stinging battle cry of, “FINISH HIM!”

For now, the trick to a successful feeding is being able to gently restrain the hands while comfortably getting the bottle into her mouth. Letting the hands roam free mostly leads to her smacking herself in the face or jamming the bottle too deeply into her mouth.

Maddie has determined that trying to free her hands while eating is an absolute laugh riot. I hate to admit it – but we both are getting far too much entertainment out of this hand-to-hand combat. There’s no keeping score and it does stretch eating time out a little bit, but it takes a sometime mundane chore and turns it into a goofy contest.

I’m sure all the fun and games will be over in a week or so, but for now, getting the baby to put away her entire bottle is quickly becoming the ultimate conquest!

The Prolific Power of the Pacifier

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Pacifiers need love too!

Man does our little girl love her pacifier! I personally don’t watch the Simpsons, but I have seen enough commercials during NFL games to know who Maggie is and what she’s all about. When the cartoon baby loses her pacifier, all bets are off and she probably goes postal.

I don’t know if it’s good or bad – but Maddie, not to be confused with Maggie, also sees her pacifier as a cherished friend who is always ready to listen and comfort at a moments notice. And as much as I hate to admit it, I feel the same way about that little piece of plastic and rubber.

These things are absolute lifesavers. They are the common cure for restlessness, the sucking reflex and general fatigue. It makes sense that a pacifier would pacify the baby – but it’s soothing powers still continue to amaze. I can’t count the number of tantrums or crying sessions that have been headed off by this tiny little prop.

The pacifier is also an invaluable tool when it comes to the filling the diaper department- nothing relives the baby’s stress more than that little baby soother. It is a device that we will always be grateful for – even when it’s time to get rid of them.

And it’s not like she wants the pacifier all the time either. It never takes the place of food or hunger. And when she doesn’t want it – she’s more than happy to spit it out. Sometimes she launches it a good two to three feet or more. So unlike Maggie, she doesn’t need it all the time, which is a very good thing.

As parents, we try to practice moderation in all things and we feel blessed that Maddie already tends to regulate her pacifier usage. Several sources say that parents needs to ditch the pacifier at about 18 months – and I’m all for it. But until that time – we will continue to appreciate the power and the glory of the mighty pacifier!

Sleep Hard – Play to Win!

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No day is so bad that it can’t be fixed with a nap.

One of the first things people notice about Maddie is that she is NOT a halfway kind of girl. Whatever, she does – Eat, sleep or poop – She does it with gusto, intensity and panache. Even at eleven weeks old, Maddie has a well-defined sense of purpose and is always striving to hit the next gear.

After a week of trailblazing and fighting the good fight against the institution of sleep – Maddie finally succumbed to Morpheus and was able to really recharge her batteries. I couldn’t believe my good fortune when she and I woke up from a two and half hour nap at 7:30 this morning.

People who say they sleep like a baby, probably don’t have one!

She woke up seemingly ready for action – but apparently, that was just a false positive. I was in the process of burping Maddie after her feeding when I noticed that she was completely knocked out on my shoulder. Oh my, 9am and our little bean was already on the ropes. I laid her in the crib and she slept soundly for another two hours.

Now this is a truly unexpected treat! I went out during the afternoon and left Maddie with her momma. When I got back, little Miss Thang was out like a light sleeping on her Mom. We made the seamless handoff and in no time, the baby was sawing wood on my chest as well.

During this particular nap, I noticed that Maddie was having a very intense feeding dream. Her little lips were moving at the speed of sound as if she were really working over her bottle.

What’s really funny about this drastic sleeping episode is that it comes as no surprise what so ever. Dealing with Maddie is a life-lesson in the art of expecting the unexpected. She doles out a new adventure every single day and you have to love the independent and pioneer spirit she is already exhibiting. (I can hear seasoned parents snickering at me now!) But seriously, who can resist someone who is just bubbling with life even before they even reach 11-weeks-old?