Baby Suffers From Flip Phone Angst

Posted on July 24, 2012 Updated on July 24, 2012

You have exactly THREE seconds to open this phone!

Even though Maddie is just a few days short of her first birthday, there are already a few characteristics that have really taken root. One of those traits is a complete lack of patience when it comes to unraveling how things work. Today’s flip phone temper tantrum seriously left her father shaking his head.

For weeks now, dad has foolishly let Maddie mess with his flip phone. Flip phones are relatively tough and if they stay closed, the baby doesn’t accidentally get into a long drawn out conversation with “Peggy” in the Ukraine.

The trouble began this afternoon when Maddie spied the open flip phone laying on the couch. I snapped the phone shut before the little NASCAR princess could close in on her conquest. This has never been an issue before, but today was obviously a different story.

Maddie snagged the phone and immediately went hard to work on the task of prying open the phone. No big deal, she would either snap it open or she wouldn’t. I was hoping to keep it closed for another couple weeks, but if she opened it, so be it.

For three steady minutes, Maddie studied the mobile device from every angle. She combed the phone buttons and releases. She even whapped it on the ground a few times, but the magic communication shell would not yield its secrets. Suddenly Maddie popped on to her feet, stuck the phone in my face and started screaming.

I calculated that this outburst would last for about 2-3 minutes and fizzle out due to lack of interest. I was far from correct. This went on and on and broke down into a Mexican standoff. I was not opening the phone and Maddie was flabbergasted that I was not following orders.

The fact of the matter is that the next 15 minutes became a contest of wills. Would I let the baby ravage the phone or would I listen to her forlorn cries of desperation? In the end, the baby finally yielded – but not before she burst my eardrums and exhibited a temper tantrum that would make Mt. Vesuvius green with envy. It becomes a little more apparent each day that I’m in serious trouble.