Stay Home PaPa

Escape From New York Redux

Posted on September 27, 2011 Updated on December 5, 2011

Maddie and her father had business across the Hudson River in the city that always reeks – the rotten apple known as New York City. A place where common sense is unheard of and manners have long since been forgotten.

This would be Maddie’s first trip into the city and first experience through the glorious Lincoln Tunnel. Even at 1030 in the morning – it was obvious that the brain surgeons would be battling for pole position even if their top speed was only about 12mph. Smart!

Maddie and PaPa finally emerged from the tube amid the blaring horns and angry drivers. We turned onto 40th only to watch some cop tearing down the road going the wrong way in reverse – even the cops are crazy in Nuevo York. Maddie was showing a great deal of patience – but I got the feeling she could sense the anger in the air.

Our plan was to cut across town past Bryant Park – but of course – that prominent cross street was shut down for some magical reason – so we headed up 6th Avenue. This when I heard on the radio that the New York City police chief had been bragging that his counter terrorism unit could shoot down a jet liner (Remind me not to fly out of JFK ever again)

Anyway – we finally made our way to Park Avenue when we got pinned behind two cab drivers fighting with each other while blocking not only the right lane, but the center lane as well.

Meanwhile, Maddie was starting to lose it and our mission to deliver her Mom’s pumping equipment was starting to unravel. We finally made our delivery, but all the westbound cross streets were jammed. However, this gave me the vital time needed to calm Maddie and escape from New York.

I hauled Maddie down to our secret Lincoln Tunnel entrance and finally got us out of Comedy Central – but not before a friendly truck driver flipped us off for not letting him cut us off.

Just like Jay-Z says in his silly little song: “Concrete jungle that nightmares are made of!”