Call it a lapse in judgment due to sleep deprivation or just plain stupidity – but Gina and Stay Home PaPa were enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon with the baby on the banks of the Hudson River when we realized that time had somehow gotten away from us.
It was 3:24pm!! Only six minutes before Maddie’s eyes would flutter open and she would be looking earnestly for a bottle of baby growing goodness. The only problem is that we were more than 20 minutes from home with nothing but rough sidewalks and train tracks ahead.
Who doesn’t love a challenge? It was our family version of the Amazing Race through Jersey City and our competition was our daughter’s empty belly.
Maddie’s stomach has already received universal accolades for its startling ability to keep track of time – and we could only hope that this Sunday afternoon would be the exception.
The race is on! We took off at a half walk – half jog with delusions of victory dancing in our heads. We raced south, but trouble was already emanating from the stroller. This trio of racers rounded the first corner near Exchange Place just before 3:30pm and Maddie picked right up on the fact that no one was making any efforts to feed her.
Our first obstacle was the Hudson-Bergen Light Rail crossing– a treacherous stretch of rumbling train tracks sure to induce a hunger filled tantrum! We went rumbling, bumbling and stumbling across the tracks and incurred our first penalty of the race. During the crossing, Maddie chirped out a protest but the little angel was willing to grant some leeway. We are now on notice and the clock is ticking.
We are making good time – but Maddie decides that enough is enough and stages her first howling protest. Fair enough – time to stop and mollify our lion cub. A few reassuring words and the strategic placement of a pacifier and the race is back on track.
Race obstacle #2: Do we take an unknown shortcut to Grand Street? Heck – roll the dice. The short cut is a success – but the baby’s stomach is grumbling! We finally make it home and you know who’s waiting for us – Phil Keoghan, the host of the Amazing Race.
He solemnly tells us: “Gina, John – I’m sorry but you are the last racers to arrive and you have been eliminated. You did not get the baby back in time for her feeding – What were you thinking?”
Maddie seems equally disappointed as her look seems to say, “We’ll address this little adventure later, for right now, FEED ME!”