Maddie Knocks out Parents with “Ghost Knight Gambit”

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At long last – our persnickety little eater has finally achieved her original birth weight – much to the relief and delight of her parents. However, we can take no credit during this momentous occasion because Maddie was the one who really made it happen.

The entire feeding process in our household has devolved into an unwinnable chess match against the Deep Blue Super Computer. Maddie is always light years ahead of us. With each move, she sneers across the chessboard as if to say, “Are you really sure you want to do that?”

Every day, our little Grandmaster employs a series of intricate attacks and combinations and before you know it, you’ve traded your queen for her pawn and your king is hanging out there in the open.

Maddie uses many of these same intimidation tactics when it comes to her preferred feeding schedule. It’s incredibly sophisticated and we obviously have been unable to crack the code.

Sometimes Maddie plays the role of the pretender, she feigns desperate hunger  – when all she really wanted was an aperitif. Other times, she displays a complete nonchalance for the concept of eating, but then suddenly turns serious and settles in for the mother-load.

We can obviously lead this young lady to the food, but as she has proven time-and-time again, we sure as shoot can’t make her drink it. To Maddie’s credit,  she is trying to be patient – urging us on each day to try and keep up with her – but sadly, the gap is widening. All of us have arrived at the startling conclusion – that in a battle of wits, we are hopelessly unarmed.

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