Maddie accomplished something Monday night that her PaPa has been unable to do after more than a decade of playing fantasy football. After nine weeks and 137 games completed in the NFL, she is still perfect. This new undefeated queen of the gridiron (the Marauding Madster) sports a record of 9 wins and a giant, big old bagel in the loss column.
Maddie has beaten every single team in the league with out so much as a howdy do! All of this FANTASY glory is hers before she even has the chance to celebrate her 14th week on the planet!
In a league with more than 50 combined years of fantasy experience – my little prodigy has whipped them all. During this march towards glory, Maddie ripped the rednecks, trashed the television people, torched the fire chief, busted the bankers and fried her own father – and all of this before her 4-month birthday.
Can an infant really go undefeated? The 72 no-name Dolphins have already cancelled the champagne this year because they know that the Maddie juggernaut express is barreling down the tracks with all safeties in the off position.
You have to kind of tiptoe around Maddie when it comes to what has been simply labeled as the STREAK. It’s like the pitcher who has pitched 7 perfect innings in the dugout – you have to give her space as she plots her next move. An injury here or a bad week there and the perfection could all come tumbling down.
Last week I asked Maddie about the playoffs and she went wild the way she does during feeding time – “Playoffs, Don’t talk about playoffs! Are you kidding me?” (Cue Jim Mora)
She hasn’t said anything about this, but should Maddie achieve the perfect season – she plans on special dedications for both her Uncle Jim and Uncle Jonathon. She’s funny that way.
“I’m not ready to sleep and you can’t make me!”
That message came through loud and clear yesterday as Maddie outlasted her everyone in sight including her grandmother and both of her parents. When this 7-week old baby doll takes a stand – she digs in for the nuclear winter. Her newest project this weekend was to single-handedly defeat the institution of sleep.
She woke up Sunday morning determined to disprove the notion that babies actually need sleep. Her eyes were just like the wolf’s in Little Red Riding Hood – “My Maddie, what big eyes you have!”
Her normal nap after the 5am feeding was called off due to a complete lack of interest, but we kept our spirits up knowing that the 9am feeding would completely knock her out. But according to Maddie, this was a special day – a day that would not be wasted by doing something so trivial as sleeping.
Maybe she was primed to go a stunning two wins and zero losses in her looming Fantasy Football contest. The Marauding Madsters were heavy favorites, but as team owner, Maddie knows to be calm and act like you have been there before.
At 1pm, you had to like our chances for the baby to get some sleep – but this schedule would conflict with the early games on the NFL docket. Maddie headed upstairs with her Grandmother and take in the Redskins game even though she had no vested interest in this particular contest. MiMi says Maddie seemed to get a little bit of sleep, but noticed that the little girl was secretly checking out the fantasy stats that were scrolling underneath the game on the television screen.
Surely the 5pm feeding would be ticket to trigger a massive sleeping event. Wrong again – Maddie was primed and ready to pull an “All-Dayer” as opposed to an “all-nighter.” Each waking moment only seem to strengthen her resolve.
At the 10pm feeding – Stay Home PaPa was running on fumes and the baby’s alert eyes told him all he needed to know – another showdown of cosmic proportions. Maddie ripped through her bottle in record time, but had no intention of going down without a fight. Putting her in the crib only ramped things up. I cajoled, coaxed and crowed all to no avail – Maddie wanted entertainment and there would be no bedtime without it!
I did a little song and dance, we took little strolls and practiced some extra burping sessions – surely she couldn’t keep this up – but she did. All seemed lost when finally, just before midnight, Princess Insomnia finally passed out on Dad’s chest. We can only hope and pray that this was just a one-day anomaly.
My baby girl is already kicking butt and taking names in the Fantasy Football arena. She set her All-Star draft order and according to the experts – the Marauding Madster is ready to create a little MAYHEM!
Even before the first snap of the 2011 NFL Season – Our 5-week-old graciously accepted her first award of the year according to the people at Yahoo and Toyota – She won the Best Draft for the 2011 season.
Madeleine says she made a conscious effort to go easy on the competition due to the fact that her real competitive genes won’t kick in until she is about 10-weeks-old. She is wishing the rest of her league the best of luck – and understands that there is still a long season ahead.
Although Maddie is not a big Phillip Rivers fan, she’s more than happy to have him on her roster. When asked about having Peyton Manning as a backup, she indicated that there are worse things in life than having access to a future Hall of Fame quarterback – even if he is a bit banged up.
Her strategy includes keeping a close eye on the waiver wire and trying to avoid the injury bug. Her short-term goals include moving out of the onesies and moving up to biscuits and gravy with daddy as soon as she can handle eating some real food.