Baby Food

Baby Blurs the Line Between Oatmeal and Hair Gel

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This oatmeal apple hair treatment is the bomb!

As we experiment with more and more foods for Maddie, the feeding process changes a little bit each time. We are now beginning each morning with a variety of three foods for the baby to work on.

This morning we introduced Maddie to the world a watermelon and what an introduction it was. The first bite was met with shock and surprise. But after a few seconds, Maddie realized she had a new favorite.

However, she had a very difficult time wrapping her mind around the fact that with each bite, she would get a new splash of flavored water. After making sure she got her fill of melon, bananas and strawberries it was finally time for the main course.

Maddie ripped into her oatmeal with a vengeance seemingly savoring each bite. We were about half way through the bowl when Maddie came up with what I can only describe as an oatmeal epiphany.

I didn’t notice at first, but Maddie had stored the last few bites of oatmeal in her mouth. This is when I decided that mealtime was over. I would let Maddie work on her large mouthful of magic and then clean her up for playtime.

That’s when Maddie pulled the trigger. She scooped a heaping portion of oatmeal out of her mouth and started massaging her scalp with it. There was really nothing to be done but watch and enjoy the show.

She made sure the clumps were mixed well inside of her hair before she put her hands at her side to gauge my reaction. I just smiled at her and began the arduous clean up process. Normally this would warrant a bath, but I just wiped her head down with a wet paper towel and let her ride out the day with the SLICK look. I can hardly wait to see what she does with the new salmon baby packets we bought.

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Self-Cleaning Baby Craze Sweeps the Nation

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I'm coming for you Mr. Clean!

“Oh no, not again!”

Cue overdramatic parent shaking her head.

Narrator: “Tired of that crazy mess every time you feed your baby solid foods?”

Overdramatic parent: “I sure am!”

Cue the shot of baby food spattered all over the wall and counter.

Narrator: “That mess sure won’t clean itself up!”

Overdramatic parent: “If only there was a way to get it cleaned up fast!”

Narrator: “Well now there is, the Maddie Method is sweeping the nation so you will never have to clean up after feeding time again!

Overdramatic parent: “REALLY, PLEASE TELL ME MORE!”

Forget the Slap Chops – Never mind the ShamWow – Don’t even get me started on the Snuggies! For the first time, not yet available in stores – we have the first self-cleaning baby known simply as Maddie.

Don’t fall for cheap imitations, my daughter Maddie is the original self-cleaning baby. Never be stuck with a mess after feeding time for the baby again.

First, risk life and limb by trying to pry the spoon out of her hand. Then just gently place a folded half of a paper towel into her mouth and she goes to work with a fervor that is actually a bit frightening.

Whatever the baby has been eating, she is more than happy to use as many paper towels as you give her to take care of the mess she made. She scrubs her mouth, her eyes and even those hard to reach places.

Blast away broccoli – Punch out peas – Swat away sweet potatoes.

So how much would pay for a service like this? Don’t answer yet because if you order now, you will also get a slightly used bumbo baby chair with very low mileage and only a few chunks of hardened solid food attached to the surface.

Remember, you get the whacky baby and the tainted chair – so act now before your chance is gone.

Disclaimer, we bear no responsibility for those rare occasions when Maddie decides to massage her toes or hair with the meal of the day.

Baby Grapples With Sore Gums

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I think I'll pass on this teething thing

After a vaccination-fueled weekend of interrupted sleep, it’s been our pleasure to welcome in Maddie’s sore gums. That’s right, out with the shots and in with the teeth.

Maddie’s gums are giving her the dickens and she is letting everybody know about it. This morning’s early morning nap was almost over before it began, lasting only 30 minutes. This pretty much set the tone for the rest of the day.

Maddie was out of sorts and only could only be soothed in short stints. Even one of our short walks (usually a Maddie favorite) only seemed to make matters worse.

The baby has started drooling like a rabid wolf now and is looking for relief in all the wrong places. She wants to chew anything and everything, but nothing we have tried seems to provide any relief.

From what I understand, we had better get settled in because the teething process is only going to get more difficult. The telltale sign that things were really changing was at dinnertime.

In recent weeks, the solid food dinner has really become a fan favorite. This is the meal Maddie really looks forward to. So after the baby endured such a difficult day, I made it a point to pick out some sweet potatoes, one of Maddie’s favorites.

I got her all prepped and spooned out some of that orange goodness only to be stopped at the gate. I couldn’t even get her to execute her favorite trick – the spoon grab! Maddie just wasn’t interested. I tried all the food tricks, the ones that help her to eat the non-favorites, but her heart just wasn’t into it.

We have all been blessed because Maddie feels so good and happy so often. But these gum issues have left her in a rather contemplative state. She realizes something is different and uncomfortable, but is still trying to piece together the origin of the problem.

After dinner, Maddie was far from enthusiastic with prospect of being put to bed. Even though several attempts ended badly, we are hopeful that the baby is able to work out some of these issues and get some much needed rest.

If anyone has any great advice or guidance for helping Maddie get through these tough times, we are all ears!