Abby Wambach made a national name for herself this summer as she single-handedly propelled the United States women into the World Cup Soccer finals. Her winning and tying goals were scored not with either of her feet, but with a series of spectacular headers.
Well Maddie hasn’t played any soccer yet – but she’s constantly practicing her kicking and header skills during burp-time. This has really transformed eating time into quite a hazardous occupation. What began as a cute quirk has morphed into the wild swinging head of the Mad Madster.
During burp time, Maddie breaks out her wild battering ram. She uses that cute little cabeza as a weapon to bludgeon all those who dare to interrupt her sacred eating time.
At first, you approach the activity like a game of Donkey Kong. Maddie is like a little Mario swinging the hammer at the fire fish. If you bob and weave at the right time, her little head speeds by and you continue the burping process. However, since the speeding head snaps without rhyme or reason – sometimes there is an unfortunate crack of heads or meeting of the minds.
Of course the major concern is for Maddie – we don’t want her headbutts to cause her any pain. So far, Maddie’s most frequent collisions have come against Gina’s collarbone and my cheekbone.
I try to block Maddie’s shots as they come in and one of the most successful ways to achieve this is by resting my head against hers. This way, her wild head connects harmlessly with my neck.
The funny thing is that Maddie really has no control over this action. Her neck muscles are gaining strength and what better time is there to test your newfound power than when some idiot is trying to burp you?
You have to wonder if Wambach’s parents faced similar challenges when their little striker was just a baby.