Stay Home PaPa

You Will Respect My Authoritah!

Posted on August 31, 2011 Updated on June 26, 2017

Mad Maddie went on the warpath Tuesday and woe unto anyone who fell into her crosshairs. (Like her mom and dad)

We labored all day to try and uncover what might be troubling Madeleine.

Was she grappling with a growth spurt?

Was it the hurricane that skipped through?

Is she angry that I went to the U.S. Open yesterday without her?

Whatever the reason – she’s wound up tight and Mom and Dad have been on the business end of Maddie all day long. No matter how much attention she gets – it’s only been enough to satisfy her during short spurts. There’s been a great deal of screaming, sprinkled in with a healthy dose of unrest and overall fussiness.

Her behavior has been eerily reminiscent of South Park’s Eric Cartman after Officer Barbrady deputized him in the Chickenlover episode during season two.

Cartman (pictured above) spends the day patrolling the streets of South Park from the back of his Big Wheel and terrorizing unsuspecting motorists. Cartman is in the middle of one of his traffic stops when the driver smarts off and tells him, “Hey, you’re just a kid!”

Cartman viciously beats him with his Tonfa police baton screaming, “Maybe this will teach you to listen to Authoritah!” Loosely translated, Authoritah means authority.

Even though Maddie is only four weeks old and can’t speak just yet, her screams through out the day made it perfectly clear – that we must respect her Authoritah! At one point, I did get her to crash on my chest for a couple of hours – but for the most part – she spent the day fed up with all of our efforts.

All we can do is put Tuesday behind us and drop one more quote from Cartman.

Eric Cartman: “Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They’re always about gay cowboys eating pudding.”