Stay Home PaPa

Baby Raptor Hatches Muddy Plot

Posted on August 4, 2011 Updated on December 5, 2011

One of our great concerns over the past couple days, was whether or not the baby was going to start pooping. Indeed, the hospital had warned us to make sure that was happening with great frequency.

What my wife failed to realize, is that as she expressed her concern, the baby was listening. Since the introduction of milk into her diet, the baby has commenced with the creation of wonderful cupfuls of chocolate pudding for us.

This is all well and good, when this strange substance makes it to the diaper – but last night was bath time and Madeleine had been plotting through out the day. Gina was quite excited for Maddie’s first bath in the sink – and apparently, so was Madeliene.

The baby knew that it would all come down to timing. Gina prudently decided that the first course of action (before the landmark bath) was to make sure the baby had been changed – we don’t want any accidents, do we?

But Maddie reminds me of the scene in Jurassic Park when the Sam Neill discovers that the alpha female Raptor possesses frightening intelligence.

The warden points to the female raptor and says, “That one… when she looks at you, you can tell she’s working things out.”

Gina lovingly changed the baby and was headed to the sink when a startled, “Oh no!” came from the bathroom. Our little raptor had unleashed a torrent of unmentionables all over Gina – literally from head to toe.

Gina was in a state of shock and awe when I entered the bathroom. “But, but – I had just changed her,” she stammered.

Maddie looked so pleased with herself – I realized that it was just a matter of time before my little raptor covered me in a similar form of Jurassic glory.