7-Pound White Walker Loose in Jersey City
Perhaps one of the sweeter babies on the planet morphs into a White Walker around midnight. I really hope this is a trend that will continue for months on end.
My angelic cherub charms all are who in her path.
The smile, the gurgle – oh, she’s so sweet.
But then the witching hour strikes – and the CHANGE IS NOT SUBTLE!!
The apple of my eye starts swinging for the fences.
We have pondered calling in her Uncle Jim (AKA the Baby Whisperer) but we’re still holding out.
Last night was night numero uno away from the hospital and Maddie had something special for Daddy. Catastrophic temper tantrums that would make any drunken sailor blush.
With the feeding over at midnight, I opened my Daddy’s bag o’ tricks.
12:04 — Walking briskly around the house gave Maddie the action she was looking for at first. But then I sensed a disturbance in the force – she gave me the look that asked, “Do you fear the White Walker, Daddy?” I summoned what courage I could muster, and managed to squeak out – “Daddy fears nothing!” Then a macabre smile crossed her face as if to say, “YOU WILL!”
With that the gentle crying began (HAAAAA- if you consider hurricanes to be a gentle breeze!) Madeleine was rocking and rolling and there was no place to hide.
Diaper looks good – CHECK!
Swaddled tightly – CHECK!
It’s quiet – CHECK!
She’s been fed – CHECK!
12:22 – Daddy’s Got Talent
For my first act, I croon, Fly Me to the Moon, by Sinatra – Maddie is briefly entertained – but then she gets pissed again.
1236 – Simon and Garfunkle sing along
“I have my books and poetry to protect me.”
But Daddy, there’s no place to hide!
1244 – Simon & Garfunkle II
“Let us be lovers, we’ll marry our fortunes together”
Dad, you suck!!
Gut-wrenching temper tantrum revving up now.
But wait, the crash of thunder!!
Angry baby finds comfort in flashes of lightning and claps of thunder.
Success – I’m the smartest father alive.
Break out the Metallica please:
“Hush little baby, don’t say a word” She passes out within 30 seconds. Different strokes I suppose.
Storm is over — the Walker has returned.
Seeming fueled by the early violent weather, she takes a turn for the worse and unleashes the fury.
Wake up Gina for the feeding and talk badly about the baby. Is this really only Day Three??????
One thought on “7-Pound White Walker Loose in Jersey City”
August 2, 2011 at 11:48 am
Congratulations guys! I didn’t realize you had the baby already! She’s gorgeous! Love the commentary – keep it coming!