Things are starting to disappear around the house and the suspects are extremely limited. So far, the prime suspect in these thefts is someone named Maddie.
The good thing about these thefts is that the suspect is usually more than happy to produce the missing items upon request.
In just the past two days, my keys have disappeared into thin air twice. After a pair of exhaustive searches, I asked my 16-month-old daughter if I could have my keys. In both cases, she left the room and returned with the missing keys.
Today however, was a different story. My phone was missing in action early this morning and I was sure I had misplaced it. Maddie and I met her grandparents out for lunch. The whole drive I tried to remember where I might have left the phone.
When Maddie and I got home early in the afternoon, I set her loose to play in the house. At some point, she wandered back to her room and I thought nothing of it. Three minutes later she was wandering down the hall with my phone to her ear.
Obviously I had loaned it to her earlier that morning and she just forgot to give it back.
I slid my phone deep onto the kitchen counter where she couldn’t reach it and I could find it later.
About an hour later, it was naptime for the Mad Madster. I scooped Maddie up and took her back to her room for a quick diaper change. Once that was done, I was ready to put her to bed.
I picked Maddie up and as I went to lay her down, I noticed that my blackberry was already waiting for her in the crib. Really?????
Maddie is not a cup is half full kind of girl. She does everything with gusto and drinking from a cup without a lid is no exception.
The key is to put very little liquid in any cup. But once Maddie has wrested control of any container, all bets are off.
No matter how liquid is in the cup, she starts with a gentle tilt and then goes fully vertical. It doesn’t matter if she’s getting the last drop or water-boarding herself, the cup must be purged of all its contents.
I went out and got 4 little plastic Thomas the Train cups that are about 4 ounces each. While we eat lunch, I transfer scant amounts of liquid into her cup for our drinking practice sessions.
There are plenty of ups and downs, but for now we are using the drinking game as a learning tool. I have no doubt that Maddie is already an accomplished and proficient drinker, but she’s also determined that I will have to work for it before she is ready to share her new found skill with me.
I have always been that jerky guy who keeps a running commentary going with the television while watching televised sports. I have long been guilty of praising, criticizing or hurling invectives at various athletes, teams, games officials and even commentators.
However, this little habit of mine has been undergoing a dramatic transformation thanks to Maddie, my stunning 6-month-old daughter. More and more, instead of taking the deafening verbal route, I’m keeping my comments to myself or making quick little noises to telepathically communicate with all of those blind sports officials and inept commentators.
There is a funny television commercial (link at the bottom) where a guy is watching a football game on his phone while having a romantic dinner with his significant other. When she accuses him of watching the game, he asks her, “What am I, some kind of summoner, who can just summon footage to his phone when he wants?”
As the commercial continues, the gentleman keeps a perfectly straight face but keeps reacting to the game with an oooh and a yesss!
This is very much the way Maddie’s father watches sports with her in the room now. When I make any noise, she snaps her attention over to me to see what I’m up to. Just like the guy in the commercial, I focus on Maddie so there is no evidence of any real emotion towards the television.
And when Maddie is sleeping on her Dad, sports must be watched with a Zen like serenity. No matter what malfeasance befalls my team or athlete, it is not worth waking up the baby. This reorganization of thought and actions is very foreign to me, but it is also strangely calming. Sporting events are actually much more enjoyable when you can put them into the proper perspective. This is yet another item on a long list of things I have to thank Maddie for.
No, Maddie is not hanging out with former tennis great Bjorn Borg, but she has taken up riding in the Baby Björn with her PaPa. It’s understood that there’s probably little connection between using the Baby Björn and future tennis greatness – Or is there?
Maddie adopted this new baby device with some trepidation – but it didn’t take long for her to settle in and become a real Björn pro. This uncanny ability of hers to adapt and overcome is something that will serve her well whether she opts to follow the career path of Bjorn Borg or Jason Bourne.
She is proving to be one tough little cookie and is developing quite a sense of adventure. Couple that pioneer spirit with Maddie’s keen powers of observation and the sky is the limit.
The real question now becomes: How are Maddie’s parents going to survive the next 18 years with our little high-octane fire eater? She already possesses a highly developed sense of stubbornness and is exhibiting a fierce brand of determination. The shortcoming that goes hand in hand with these traits is her staggering lack of patience.
In the battle of nature versus nurture – it will be a Herculean task to try and teach this little one to take a breath and count to ten. At this point, it seems more likely that she will count to one and come out swinging.
Our only hope is that we can somehow lead by example and display a biblical-like patience to show her the way towards tolerance. Never an easy task for a pair of parents who share the “Type-A” personality gene.