Speed

Maddie Feels the Need for Speed

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I can’t drive 55!

Maddie’s father sat this one out, but once again the baby was driven by her love of speed

Since it was too hot to run around outside today, the baby suggested lunch out would be a smart alternative. Maddie had never tried the Cheesecake Factory before, but was anxious to give it a shot. She rounded up her grandmother and a couple of her favorite aunts and they were off.

All reports indicate that Maddie was on her best behavior basking the glory of all of that female attention. It seems that my little girl did her best to get the waiter’s attention, but he did not look over. He did suggest a bread and banana plate for the baby, but aside from that was not into giving her the time of day.

After lunch, Maddie was ready for nice stroll, but was definitely not interested in dealing with the 100 degree heat index. Her family decided to hit the mall where Maddie could still catch an eyeful without overheating.

Aunt Joni was enjoying the privilege of pushing her majesty around the mall when she noticed some complaints coming from the stroller. It seemed that Maddie wanted Aunt Joni to pick up the pace. Joni upped the speed and not only did the complaints fall silent, but Maddie actually started clapping to show her approval. Once again, Maddie made it clear that she is forever infected with the need for speed.

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Shopping Trip Turns into Bad Remake of Speed

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Maddie understands that PaPa is not too quick!

During the movie Speed, Dennis Hopper spends a great deal of screen time doling out death quizzes to “Super-Cop” Keanu Reeves.

Due to negligent planning – Stay Home PaPa had his own Speed moment Friday morning when he found himself racing around a discount store with a restless ten pound explosive sitting in the shopping cart he was pushing.

“Pop quiz, hotshot – Big store, Baby ready to meltdown and you FORGOT the PACIFIER. What do you do? What do you do?”

None of the options at this point are very appealing. We are not exactly terribly far away from feeding time and Maddie seems more than willing to belt out some real noise if the mood is right.

Keeping with the “Speed” theme: The clock was ticking and if the speed of the shopping cart falls below 50 mph, everyone in the juice aisle is doomed. As soon as we penetrated the store – Maddie started to rumble. I pulled the cart to the side and assured Maddie that all was right in the world and that there was no need to panic.

The little girl seemed temporarily satisfied with my clumsy efforts and allowed our adventure to resume. I kicked the cart back into high gear and wheeled around the store yanking items off the shelf with reckless abandon – all the while keeping a close eye on my little time bomb.

I met each mini-meltdown with some positive reinforcement, crossed fingers and a rabbit foot as Maddie finally allowed the expedition to conclude without incident.

Lesson of the day – A man without a pacifier is like a fish without a bicycle. I have no idea what that even means!