Some Things Just Never Change

Posted on Updated on

Stop me if you’ve seen this one before!

As soon as it got a little bit chilly, it was time to put socks back on the beast. Maddie has been wearing shoes for a couple months now, but all of our old sock issues have come back in full force.

The sock terrorist has once again declared a jihad against her infidel socks. The only difference now is that there is no struggle. Maddie grips it and rips it and the offending piece of clothing is gone in a flash.

It’s no longer any kind of challenge for her. The challenge now falls to her parents as the temperatures will continue to fall. Looks like little Maddie will be sporting high top shoes all winter long.

I’m pretty sure you only put one on me this morning.


Baby Forsakes Toys, Ravages Sock

Posted on Updated on

Another victim to add to the pile.

My soon to be 9-month-old daughter has been ripping off her socks pretty much since we started putting them on her. We strap them on and she goes right to work on her various sock removal strategies.

Maddie is most adept at teaching those socks who the boss in their relationship. If she were an NFL player, she would be flagged every single day for excessive celebration. Every time she tears or peels off one of her socks, she goes wild with delight.

It’s even worse when she is in a bad mood because she would be penalized for “taunting.” She gets a smug look of satisfaction on her grill and holds the sock out at you so that you may gape in awe at her handiwork.

There have documented instances where a sock actually flew out of the stroller and over the driver’s head. I have a long sordid history of snatching her sock off the ground and stuffing it into my pocket.

When we walk into the house, my wife often says it looks like Maddie lost a sock. I always dig into my pocket and pull out the offending item that made its unsuccessful bid for freedom.

Now Maddie has taken her sock abuse to the next level. No matter how many toys she decides to surround herself with, she can’t stop thinking about the socks that must be suffocating her poor innocent feet.

Maddie grabs the villainous foot and starts tugging on the sock – stretching it to the very limits of its construction. Once the sock pops off, she has two plans to choose from. One trick is to wrap it around her forehead like Mr. Miyagi did for Ralph Macchio. The other trick is to pull it taut and stuff it into her mouth.

Either demonstration is really quite the spectacle to behold. But there are few things more satisfying than watching your adorable baby daughter teach a combative sock a thing or two.

Maddie’s Socks – Gone in 60 Seconds!

Posted on Updated on

Ready to unleash my sock and awe campaign

Maddie and her parents have been going toe to toe (that’s right) for several months now in the never ending battle to keep socks on the baby’s feet. Maddie is barely 5-months-old, yet we have been struggling to keep socks on her for about four of those months.

My little girl has perfected her sock disposal techniques into a true art form. Just as Brad Pitt became the master fly fisherman in Robert Redford‘s classic, “A River Runs Through It,” Maddie has mastered the art of sock-punching!

There I said it – my daughter is a sock-puncher. If the baby is awake – no pair of socks is safe on those wild feet for any length of time. Back when she was an amateur, she would shake and kick until they would eventually fall off.

Those days are long gone. Now, Maddie uses one foot to aid and abet the other in an effort to shrug off the offending sock within 60 seconds. When we visited Maddie’s grandparents during the holidays, we were constantly on the lookout for discarded socks around the house.

Sure we tried to outsmart the baby – we went out and purchased longer socks to thwart the baby’s best attempts to knock the socks off. It turns out that the longer socks are easier to knock off than the short ones.

I suppose we could just let the baby hang out with no socks on, but her feet get cold, so that is obviously not a viable option. I like to tuck them into the baby’s pants, but my wife has repeatedly cautioned me about such a fashion faux pas.

Suffice it say that we have given ourselves up to fate. We will continue the exhaustive sock “search and rescue” efforts until some company develops a baby sock with just a kiss of elastic in them. Until then, Maddie will delight in her parent’s fruitless attempts to keep those perpetual feet under cover.