sleep deprivation

Baby Crushes Sleep in Super Bowl Romp

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Go ahead and watch my Super Bowl Shuffle!

As we work on getting the baby into her crib and amending her napping schedule, decent sleep in our household is hard to come by. Maddie’s parents find themselves backed up on a 4th and long with only seconds on the clock. The ultimate goal is to get Maddie sleeping comfortably in the end zone, but that’s much easier said than done.

Any questions we might have had about Maddie’s tenacity have been swept away without any shadow of a doubt. Even at the tender age of six-months-old, she has a will and determination that is cast in iron.
There is no overlooking the fact that her parents are crazy “Type A” individuals – but Maddie is looking to up the ante and elevate things to a stratospheric level. Forget the dog with a bone analogy – Maddie has proven yet again that she is a force of nature.

As long as she is being laid down in the crib, Maddie is refusing to sleep. She is ignoring the mounting fatigue, the drowsiness and standing up to her parents on this one. Her dogged determination is certainly impressive, but it also more than a little intimidating. Our current sleep issues are far from being resolved, but it appears that Maddie might be digging in.

Improving the quality and duration of Maddie’s sleep is for her own good. It would certainly be much easier to let her sleep where she wants. The only real question is how much of a beating her parents will have to take in the process.

Even with her limited sleep schedule this weekend, Maddie was absolutely her charming self. But how long our luck will last remains to be seen.

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Maddie Gaming the System Like an Old Pro

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Like taking candy from an adult!

After sleeping straight through three nights in a row, Maddie had led her parents into uncharted territory. Maddie’s mom had a 5am flight out of Newark and was hoping for another good night’s sleep. However, the baby flipped the schedule right around 10:30pm.

She was sounding off and making it clear that taking sleep for granted is always a fruitless proposition. Maddie knows from personal experience that during the nighttime hours, sleeping in her crib is mandatory.

The only exception is when her Mom has to get up very early the next morning. DING-DING-DING! I have still yet to discover how Maddie knew that this was one of those evenings. I even had the house swept for listening devices, but nothing turned up.

As you might have guessed, when Maddie went off the rails, I had to hustle her upstairs so that her mom could get some sleep. Once we were upstairs, all the commotion suddenly died down. I knew my little girl was gaming me.

She was thinking, does he have the guts to take me back downstairs? Is he ready to take a shot at the title? I knew it was a setup – you could smell it a mile away. But I had to try. At this point, Maddie was snuggled in deeply sleeping in my arms, no chance that she might wake up. But with this little girl, there’s always the chance that she’s playing possum.

I made it down to the sixth step with her when I must have hit a trip wire, because I triggered Maddie’s sonic scream alarm. She was crying and howling like a wounded cat. I scampered back upstairs and it was like I threw a switch. All sins were forgiven and forgotten. Maddie was safe and warm in her father’s arms and that evil crib might as well have been set up in Kinshasa.

So yes, I folded – the baby spent the night sleeping on me. But the joke is really on her. Sleeping on me might not be good for household discipline and I may be exhausted the next morning, but watching her sleep will always be one of my favorite activities. Besides, Maddie figured out that her father was an easy mark a long time ago.

Grandparents Take Off in Rocket Rig to Escape Maddie’s Wrath

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It won't go any faster dear!

Maddie’s grandparents were ready to get out of Dodge this morning after the baby serenaded them with mournful cries deep into night and beyond. You could see the vapor trail from space as Maddie’s grandparents high-tailed it out of New Jersey bright and early this morning. Their rig disappeared into a huge plume of smoke before the baby had a chance to react.

During the night, Maddie struck early and often. This was an effort to properly demonstrate to her parents how difficult it was to sleep with her new headband on. Every hour or so, the tiny town crier let the household have it with both barrels. The windows shook, dishes tumbled out of the cabinets and a few sonic booms were heard across the Hudson River each time my little girl let loose.

Rocking and humming the baby to sleep is still my most effective weapon, but it is now only working for the initial sleep startup sequence. Last night, I scored a 90-minute sleep session and two 60-minute short-but-sweet catnaps. Not nearly enough for Maddie and certainly a little tough on those trying to sleep in our humble abode.

The craniologist (if there is such a thing) told us that there might be some nighttime backlash from the headband. (Do ya think?) The poor grandparents got a front row seat to Maddie’s madcap antics through out the night.

Anytime they tried to contemplate an escape, Maddie was onto them. Her constant demand for crib liberation banished any thoughts of making a clean getaway. So after a night of wild and debaucherous celebration, Maddie made sure to get up nice and early to share her love with all of those around her.

Her bleary eyed grandparents wished us well, packed the car and peeled out, ready to return to a more quiet and civilized existence.

Putting the Baby to Bed – Seven Times a Charm?

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Do I look tired to you?

Maddie, my precocious 6-month-old daughter, decided that tonight was the night where she would exert her will over her father and the entire household. Her strategy was sound, stand your ground, stay awake and defy those parental bedtime guidelines.

Bedtime is rarely a problem in our household as long as Maddie gets a decent nap during the day. Sadly, that did not happen. Maddie’s DOC Headband is giving her some skin issues so we had to go back to the headband technician at 1:30 this afternoon. The timing could not have been worse. We missed out on Maddie’s primetime naptime and that set the stage for a nighttime battle of epic proportions.

At 7pm, Maddie and her father began our established nighttime rituals. Take a bath, put on the jammas, say goodnight to the house, kill the lights and drink one last bottle. Everything went off like clockwork, the baby was nearly sleeping in my lap as I gently laid her in the crib.

You would have thought I lowered her into a pit of alligators. She went wild, flailing and screaming and giving her dad a little bit of “HELLO DOLLY!” Fair enough, I lifted her out of that “Crib of Horrors,” and snuggled her into my arms where she was quickly falling asleep yet again. I lowered her back into the crib and again the invisible Gremlins shocked her awake.

Now my little angle is inconsolable and I know what she wants. Her every cry and whimper speaks loud and clear, “PaPa, why don’t you just snuggle me all night long and we’ll call it even.” Now don’t get me wrong, I normally let that sweet little girl nap on me when she wants to – but at night, she stays in the DANG crib!

So now father and daughter are stuck – locked in a battle of wills where only one person will get their way. I know, without question, that Maddie will sleep better in her crib, so I really have no choice. For her sake, I must prevail.

After two more failed attempts, I took my disgruntled bundle of love back out into the living room. She smiled longingly at her grandmother, begging to be released from her father’s evil grasp. I handed Maddie over to her grandma and the baby smiled at me triumphantly! But when MiMi tried to put Maddie down to sleep, once again all Hades broke loose!

I recovered Sweet Madeleine from MiMi and restarted the arduous process of putting my baby to bed. After 90 short little minutes and six failed attempts, the princess was finally sleeping in her crib. Free at last, Free at last!

Baby Perfects Takedown – Pins Unsuspecting Father

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TAKEDOWN!

For the most part, being pinned is rarely recognized as an enjoyable state of being. However, it’s quite possible that young Madeleine might single-handedly overcome that negative stereotype.

Sure there are some negative connotations out there. Being pinned as sometimes happens to high school or college wrestlers appears to have several drawbacks. This includes having a “stanked up” sweaty human being driving your face into an unwashed mat as a ravenous mob cheers him on.

This negative idea of the pin is now changing thanks to the Amazing Madeleine. If you find yourself pinned under the weight of your sleeping baby daughter, you are really in very good shape. You can’t go anywhere or do anything, so your only task is to enjoy the euphoric company of that slumbering princess.

It never gets old and it’s a most delightful experience. The only problem is that it always seems to end far too quickly. This is true even when it wreaks havoc with your schedule, makes you miss a phone call or leaves you longing for the bathroom. Just one look at her tells you all you need to know – you’re in the right place.

Maddie’s nap time is also a great time to catch up on some of your own sleep. Sleep that is desperately needed due to Maddie’s erratic nighttime antics. The worst part of this process is the knowledge that is only a limited short-term engagement. Maddie is growing very quickly, so now is the time to soak it all in before she becomes too big, too bored or both!

Honey Badger Hits Back with Sleep Attacks

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Don't be tired, Stupid!

With several hundred miles to drive first thing in the morning – there’s nothing like the gentle howling of your five-month-old honey badger through out the night to get your mind right.

Maddie was eager to hit the road and emphasized that very point with a series of mind-numbing wakeup calls chiming in at 9:30pm, 2:30am and 4:45am. When I scooped up Madeleine shortly after the final wakeup call, she gave the look that sings out, “Honey Badger don’t care!”

When I asked Maddie about these two-hour sleep intervals, she hit me with a Jedi mind trick and forced me to feed her six ounces of milk without any more of my inane questioning. Just as the baby was knocking away the last of her bottle, she passed out sound asleep.

I sat there with her on my lap pondering the long drive home with very little sleep. An hour later I was still trying to get some sleep of my own, but I was too anxious about our upcoming road trip. Maddie finally woke up once her grandfather got up to make coffee and we took to the road just after nine. Within a half hour of our departure, we were bogged down in a mini-traffic snarl on Route 15.

Maddie was not pleased, but lacked any real energy to lash out at the situation, so she opted in for another nap. This made me a little jealous, but I was glad she was getting rested up for the long day ahead of us.

The baby was basically a perfect lady for the duration of the trip – but both of her parents were a little worn down from Maddie’s early morning mayhem. We made it through the trip without too much hassle and are very excited to see what Maddie has planned for us during our first night back at home.