Maddie Turns Photo Shoot into Jail Break
Maddie conjured up her inner-Honey Badger for her first formal holiday shoot. The baby was on the run from start to finish and was quoted as saying, “No prison can hold me!”
It’s ironic that Maddie kept trying to run into other family’s photo shoots, but had absolutely no interest in sitting still for her own.
Her protests were loud, her fuse was short and attitude was just south of plum loco!
The photographer was patient even though Maddie continuously made a break for the exit at the beginning of every shot. To be fair, the studio was about 40 minutes late in taking our pictures and this directly encroached into Maddie’s naptime.
When all was said and done, Maddie had some very cute shots. That’s a miracle considering the honey badger spent her afternoon, running, ducking, thrashing and spinning.
We’ve already contacted National Geographic and the next time we decide to take pictures, they will send out a wildlife photographer who has experience with dangerous jungle savages like the Mad Madster.
Pool Offers No Refuge When Baby Attacks
The baby attacks have been coming at a torrid pace. Once Maddie hits the ground running, there is no safe haven. She attacks without warning and none of your possessions are safe.
Hats and glasses are obviously a big draw. Lately Maddie has been exploring the field of dentistry by trying to pull out my bottom teeth. Today at the pool, it appeared as if the baby had called a truce.
Maddie took turns letting each parent shuttle her around the pool. She had her legs up, some nice warm water and a pacifier to play with. She snatched the sunglasses off of my face a few times, but all and all, we were seeing a new Maddie. This was a kinder and gentler Maddie who was willing to hang out with the parents and pass the day away.
However, once we lifted the baby out of the water – all bets were off. Maddie’s mom took a little break on her stomach trying to dry off before the walk home. This sent our little junkyard dog over the edge. She started lunging at her mom’s hat trying to claim it for herself. I tried to hold her back, but she threw me into the fence and jumped her mom.
Rescue crews moved with the jaws-of-life to try and pry the hat from the baby, but it was a no-go, the hat now belonged to her. When the police came, the baby told them that she had found the hat by the side of the pool and had mistakenly thought it was hers. Mom tried to contradict the story, but a stern look from Maddie shut her down.
No one knows what finally happened to the hat, but Maddie assured her parents that this is only the beginning.
Little Lion Terrorizes on Tight Schedule
Lions do the majority of their hunting at night – my little Leo is on a much tighter schedule.
It doesn’t happen every day, but when Maddie goes to the dark side, it almost always happens between 3am and 6am.
Her jaws began to snap and her screams reach a fever pitch that will not be silenced for any significant length of time. It’s actually quite a phenomenon to behold. Gina and I first encountered this fearsome predatory behavior the day she was born in the hospital.
Since then, we have struggled with what we were doing that was so wrong. What terrible mistakes were we making as parents that would make someone we love so much so terribly angry?
What strikes us during these episodes is the intensity and determination displayed these each tantrum. Maddie is bound and determined to rage for this short period of time even if all of her basic needs are met.
Its part of the learning curve I suppose. Unmistakable patterns have developed and once you have determined that the diaper is clean, the swaddle is sound and the belly is full – you just strap in and hang on for the ride of your life.
I’m actually learning to appreciate these magnificent and shocking acts of nature. A couple hours of unbridled fury is not the end of the world. I also have to respect a tiny little lady who is so determined to share her strong opinions with anybody in earshot.
Who knows where this special brand of obstinacy could take Maddie. Whether this mind set is directed towards studies, athletics or exploration – her competitors will likely shrivel up in fear at the mere mention of her name.
It’s also remarkable that these incidents only occur during such a small three-hour window. This actually provides the recipient with shades of hope that the sun will rise and the storm shall pass.