NASA

Naptime Blues Wilt Under Extreme Heat

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Hey look, my parents think I'm a popsicle!

If you’ve been following Maddie’s madcap adventures for the past 3 weeks, you know that naptime has been a bust. A harrowing series of scant 30-minute naps per day have worn out the baby and pushed her parents to the brink.

It seems that all of that is behind us now due to one simple discovery. The baby has not been warm enough during naptime.

Three weeks ago, when we peeled Maddie off of her dad and into the crib, her sleep duration went to the dogs. I originally thought that the loss of my smiling grill and sparkling personality killed the baby’s ability to nap. But amazingly, it was something else altogether. It turns out that the only thing Maddie was missing was Daddy’s torch-like body heat!

So how did the NASA scientists in Maddie’s household make this landmark discovery???

Yesterday, Maddie and her Dad were making a lightning-fast run to Starbucks. By the time they got home, Maddie was hanging limply from the Bjorn sound asleep. Dad rushed inside and gently laid her in the crib. He unzipped her winter gear, but didn’t risk taking off the whole thing.

TWO HOURS LATER the little munchkin was still sawing wood! Sleeping like the angel she is. Eureka! Maddie was struggling with lousy naps because her parents haven’t been bundling her up before naptime. We have never been able to use blankets because Maddie just kicks them off or pulls them over her head.

Thankfully, we have a nifty little invention that we use at night called a Sleep-Sack. It keeps her warm and stops her from munching on or playing with her toes (no seriously!) The problem is that we weren’t using the sack for her naps.

Today we put on the SACK for naptime and once again she slept like a champ during every session. Maddie is taking naps again – Let Freedom Ring!

Making the Move from Diapers to Depends?

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Not the best timing for the hula hoop

There are very few hard and fast rules regarding a diaper change. A diaper emergency can strike at any time in any place, but until today, it was always the baby who needed the emergency assistance.

That pattern took a bizarre turn this morning when a standard feeding devolved into an unprecedented toxic spill that would leave Maddie’s PaPa scarred for at least the next 30 to 40 minutes.

It all seemed so innocent; Maddie was in the process of being burped in the sitting position when she unexpectedly whipped her head towards the left while expectorating a thick stream of undesirable fluid. Never let it be said that my little girl is anything less than a crack shot!

The stream of regurgitated milk hit my thigh and aided by gravity, tumbled relentlessly down my leg into areas we can’t mention on this family blog. Now it’s really a party!

PaPa’s privates and his boxers are both swimming in this barbarous baby cocktail and there’s not too much that can be immediately done about it. We are in the middle of a feeding and Madeleine has made it perfectly clear that we are far from done. I can’t remember the last time I was sitting in a pair of soaked britches!

My mind is swimming (no pun intended) with possible exit strategies, but each outcome would just make things worse. What could I have done to prevent this?

I even stop to ponder the crazy female astronaut solution. Remember the wiggedy whacked Lisa Nowak from 2007? She’s that NASA astronaut who drove nearly a thousand miles to try and murder some chick. Lisa wore diapers during the drive so she wouldn’t have to take any bathroom breaks on the way. That must have been one heck of a diaper!

In the end, I decided that I’m still a little too young for adult diapers, but I know that my little girl is like a tiger crouching in the high grass – waiting for her next chance to strike.