Maddie vs. City
The crankiness meter has been ratcheting up lately during prime time right around 8pm. This is not a bad thing! Early evening crazies can sometimes translate into a half-decent night of sleep. But when all else fails – we are forced to make a break of the outdoor circuit. No crib – No stroller – No carries – just an angry baby and her daddy hitting the urban jungle.
Heading outside is instant gratification for the both us.
I pull open the door – the street noise hits us – and Maddie lights up like a Roman candle of pure delight. Joy and wonder spread across the little bean’s face and the crying is only a distant memory now.
We turn the corner, buffeted by the sounds of traffic and a very strong gust of wind. I look down at Maddie – her eyes are wide open – savoring every moment and taking in every last detail.
Maddie loves the outdoors more than Bear Grylls from the best show on television, Man vs. Wild.
Discovery Channel producers and multiple publicists have been blowing up Maddie’s crackberry -day and night – urging her to star in the new spinoff:
*** Baby vs. City ***
– I’m Maddie and I’m gonna show you what it takes to get out alive from some of the most dangerous places on earth! – I’ve gotta make it through a series of challenges where you wouldn’t last a day without my good looks and humble attitude. – I’m dealing with some of the most In-Hospitable people on the planet where one slip could cost you your sanity! You gotta get them, before they get you!
Cue music … BOM-BOM, BOM-BOM
– Bear wrestles crocs – Maddie knocks over taxicabs
– Bear jumps out of planes – Maddie swims the Hudson
– Bear runs from bears – Maddie tackles purse-snatchers
– Bear bites snake – Maddie grabs last stylish bib off sale rack
– Bear slides down mountains – Maddie scales Freedom Tower
– Good luck and good hunting, mate!