Mad Madster

Shopping Trip with Maddie Takes Wrong Turn

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Give me a moment to process…

Some shopping trips with the Mad Madster are better than others and some are downright painful.

Sometimes a series a events collide leading a father to abandon $60 worth of groceries in a store parking lot to deal with his mischievous one-shoed daughter.

There is one grocery store in Jersey City that we shop at for only a few items at a time. The reason for this is that the shopping carts can’t go more than ten feet out of the entrance because they are blocked in by metal barricades. This critical fact seemed to have slipped my mind as Maddie and I were checking out with far too much to carry.

It all started with a BAD checkout. The rocket scientist bagging the groceries only single-bagged a sack containing a 2-liter bottle and some other items with sharp corners. I failed to notice this because Maddie was trying to pull every item off the belt before the cashier could scan it.

I knew I was in trouble the second we got outside where there was a homeless gentleman was asking to carry my bags. I declined his kind offer and set off into the parking lot with a sense of purpose.

We made it about 20 steps when the shopping bag with the the 2-liter bottle blew apart showering the contents all over the parking lot.

COOOOL!

For some reason, this sent Maddie into a kicking frenzy. Her right foot scored a direct hit on a second bag blasting it apart with more items showering the ground along with her sneaker.

It’s a party now!

Maddie wants to get down and play in the carnage below and the car is no closer than 100 yards away.

Time to leave the groceries where they were (bye bye Maddie and I said together) as we walked away to get in the car.

Once the Mads was safely strapped in, we drove over to the mess where there was a nice man defending our pile of groceries from some curious homeless helpers.

I thanked him, hoping our adventure was over, but Maddie had more games to share with her dad.

Of course there were no parking spaces near our home, so we had to park across the busy street. We parked and the only shopping bag I grabbed to take upstairs with Maddie was her milk. We took two steps from the car when the one-shoed girl seized the bag and swung it towards her head. I had to adjust quickly, but Maddie had a death grip on the bag. I put her down to free the bag, when she whipped the sack across the sidewalk rupturing the third bag of the young morning.

At that point, there was really nothing left to do but take a few pictures.

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Am I daddy’s little helper or what? Want some raisins?

Maddie Storms New York City Passport Office

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They can’t hide in there forever!

The New York City Passport Office will never be the same after Maddie Danger dropped in on them this morning.

Maddie strolled into the office and announced her presence with authority. It didn’t take long for her to let out a few prolonged shrieks to let people know that Maddie was in the house.

Once Maddie made her mark on the first floor – It was time to move on to the nerve center of the Passport Center – the tenth floor!

We were running short on distractions while Maddie’s fuse was running short.

I tried to keep her corralled at one of the empty workspaces, but suddenly time was up. Maddie put on quite a show, but thankfully it was time to go.

But fear not, here’s a sneak peak of Maddie’s AH-Mazing Passport Photo!

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Hey, Hey We’re the Monkees!!

Maddie Taking Dinner to New Heights

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Any questions?
Any questions?

Maddie hasn’t been shy this week about showing her grandparents the full range of her talents. There have been moments of staggering cuteness and sweetness dappled with a few tantrums and truly bizarre behavior.

But Maddie chose tonight’s dinner to really let the good times roll.

Pasta was on the menu tonight and the little girl was ready for a party.

The first ten pieces of pasta went down quite easily, but then Maddie decided to take the experience to the next level. Rather than just enjoy the taste, Maddie decided to try out the sauce as a skin cleanser and hair product.

Maddie hasn’t taken this path in some time, so it was really worth the price of admission.

Once the pasta was all gone, it was time to move on to our nightly veggie packet. Dad handed Maddie the packet and she double pumped it with both hands successfully sealing her right eye shut with a nasty mixture of broccoli and spinach.

She took all of this in stride, but it made for an interesting farewell feast for the Mad Madster.

Maddie Putting the Beatdown on Baby Books

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I’m not sure this one is going to make it

Maddie has many wonderful attributes, but being gentle isn’t one of them. Her parents were very encouraged when Maddie developed an early interest in books. But lately, the baby has taken a real interest in punishing her books.

Her “Noisy Peekaboo” book is really getting her riled up lately. The book sports the pictures and noises of four farm animals that are hidden under a little cardboard flap. The flaps hiding the animals have all suffered full-frontal assaults from the Mad Madster.

Sadly, Woolly the Sheep no longer has any shelter at all. Maddie tore off the barn door leaving the “Woolly Sheep” completely exposed to the elements. Now when you turn to his page, the sheep cries out in protest against the unsolicited abuse he’s endured at the hands of the Madster.

The other animals still have some protection, but the wicker basket hiding “Noisy the Rooster” is in bad shape. Maddie has crunched the basket on numerous occasions and has had to be pulled away kicking and screaming from it several times this week. She wants that to fry that chicken and no wicker basket is going to deprive her of that kill.

Keep in mind we are talking about cardboard books that the baby is beating up. It’s still a little too early to let her look at real books unless you want all the pages ripped out. This becomes obvious any time Maddie grabs a hold of a magazine. Within minutes, all the pages have been torn away from the spine and left for dead on the floor.

For now, the Peekaboo Book lives on, but all of us know that its only a matter of time before Maddie puts the poor book out of its misery.