conference call

Baby Demands Equal Time on Client Calls

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I was hoping for an iPad 2

Maddie has a real ear for important telephone calls; the only problem is that she now feels compelled to participate. The more important the call, the more likely she is to interject some of her feelings on the matter.

As you might have guessed, as much we love our four and half month old baby girl; she is still not quite ready for the conference call circuit.

This recent need to speak out during calls has been especially daunting for my wife Gina. As soon as Gina goes into business mode and answers a call, Maddie suddenly feels excluded and left out of the process and is not afraid to speak up about it.

As soon as a call starts, I know I have a 25 second window to snatch my little time bomb before she goes off like tornado siren and shatters the eardrum of the person who’s dared to call in during Maddie’s time.

It’s so funny, when I scoop up Maddie, she acts like the E-Trade baby – “Hey, what do you think your doing? I’ve got something relevant to add to this. I’ve got the inside scoop on tomorrow’s Fed decision!”

I make my break for Maddie’s room as she ramps up the volume with every step I take. The baby refuses to take this indignity lying down and assures me that I haven’t heard the last of this.

Once we are behind closed doors, it takes a full five minutes to distract her from the fact that she got blocked from her mother’s call.

So far, my extraction procedure hasn’t run into any hitches, but we know it’s just a matter of time before the baby gets her ten cents in and the person on the other end of the line is treated to a startling commentary peppered with screams, slobber and maybe even a few snorts.