Things are starting to disappear around the house and the suspects are extremely limited. So far, the prime suspect in these thefts is someone named Maddie.
The good thing about these thefts is that the suspect is usually more than happy to produce the missing items upon request.
In just the past two days, my keys have disappeared into thin air twice. After a pair of exhaustive searches, I asked my 16-month-old daughter if I could have my keys. In both cases, she left the room and returned with the missing keys.
Today however, was a different story. My phone was missing in action early this morning and I was sure I had misplaced it. Maddie and I met her grandparents out for lunch. The whole drive I tried to remember where I might have left the phone.
When Maddie and I got home early in the afternoon, I set her loose to play in the house. At some point, she wandered back to her room and I thought nothing of it. Three minutes later she was wandering down the hall with my phone to her ear.
Obviously I had loaned it to her earlier that morning and she just forgot to give it back.
I slid my phone deep onto the kitchen counter where she couldn’t reach it and I could find it later.
About an hour later, it was naptime for the Mad Madster. I scooped Maddie up and took her back to her room for a quick diaper change. Once that was done, I was ready to put her to bed.
I picked Maddie up and as I went to lay her down, I noticed that my blackberry was already waiting for her in the crib. Really?????
Maddie is not a cup is half full kind of girl. She does everything with gusto and drinking from a cup without a lid is no exception.
The key is to put very little liquid in any cup. But once Maddie has wrested control of any container, all bets are off.
No matter how liquid is in the cup, she starts with a gentle tilt and then goes fully vertical. It doesn’t matter if she’s getting the last drop or water-boarding herself, the cup must be purged of all its contents.
I went out and got 4 little plastic Thomas the Train cups that are about 4 ounces each. While we eat lunch, I transfer scant amounts of liquid into her cup for our drinking practice sessions.
There are plenty of ups and downs, but for now we are using the drinking game as a learning tool. I have no doubt that Maddie is already an accomplished and proficient drinker, but she’s also determined that I will have to work for it before she is ready to share her new found skill with me.
There comes a moment in every action film where the protagonist realizes that they are truly over matched. At about five this morning, my sweet daughter Madeleine made it clear who was in charge.
The two of us went head to head in a legendary contest of wills.
The veteran (daddy) barely conscious – was still trying to bob and weave while the young challenger peppered PaPa with an intricate series of stunning jabs and explosive roundhouses.
The shift in the balance of power seems subtle at first, until I realize that the challenger has studied the film and knows all of my best tricks.
Madeleine unleashed just a small sample of her rage and power from 4am to 7am and I stand humbled before it.
Gina’s grandparents, Gary and Denise noted that Madeleine possessed a powerful cocktail of Gina’s obstinate nature and my hyperactivity. With the contest of wills this morning, I realize that Maddie is just getting warmed up.
This provides an enhanced understanding of Roy Scheider’s famous quote from the movie Jaws, “We’re gonna need a bigger boat!” He makes this observation as he watches the giant menacing dorsal fin bear down upon him and Captain Quint’s boat.
Turns out Roy was right – Jaws ate the damned boat and the captain!
When I ask Maddie if I’m next, she just smiles and smacks her lips.