Maddie Keeps the Memorial Day Smiles Coming

Posted on Updated on

Live long and prosper my friends
Rearranging the closet
Another weekend to remember
I get my power from toes!

Maddie’s Mother’s Day Photo Spread

Posted on Updated on

– Thanks and love to my amazing teenage cousins who took all of these magnificent photos

Let me show you how to use that thing!
My personality sizzles even without color!
Hey Uncle Tim, Wanna play me?
Daddy, I’m going to gently remove your head.
There’s nothing wrong with being this precious.
Put your hands together party people!
I thought Mother’s Day was over

Baby Takes Easter Fashion to New Heights

Posted on Updated on

Whether it was a simple pair of rabbit ears or a stunning Easter dress – Maddie made it all work this weekend while visiting family in the Illinois farming country. She was in a festive mood and was a great crowd pleaser throughout the entire weekend.

Even her behavior at the Sunday Easter services was a far cut above the show she put on last week in Jersey City. We will take advantage of this Easter Holiday to share a little holiday photo shoot courtesy of the Mad Madster.

Baby Stars at Holiday Family Supper

Posted on Updated on

I make these stars look good!

Now that Maddie is tearing up the solid food, the dynamics of eating around her have changed completely.

The baby perks up anytime someone nearby puts something into his or her mouth, especially when it’s her mom or dad. Even when you take a drink, Maddie has no problem when it comes to reaching out for a little taste.

Today was no exception when we visited my Aunt in Central Virginia. Maddie was in remarkably good spirits after taking another road trip. We got Maddie into the house and placed her onto a blanket on the floor. My Aunt’s tiny Yorkie named Bonnie Blue couldn’t wait to come out and meet the baby.

The little pooch kept circling Maddie and trying to approach her to spread a little bit of love. The baby wasn’t sure what was going on, but the pup was dying to play with her. No physical interaction actually took place, but it was beyond cute to watch them size each other up.

With all of the relatives in the house, there was no way Maddie was going take a nap and miss out on any of the action. She put on a halftime jumping display that would have shamed Madonna at this year’s Super Bowl.

Once it was time for supper, Maddie was chomping at the bit to get in on the action. My aunt broke out an amazing array of turkey, ham, potatoes with all the works and Maddie was going wild.

I prepared an enormous plate for myself and started breaking off pieces from a roll for the Madster. She was gumming them up and setting them down while we everyone was eating around her. The baby was in all her glory because she was eating with the group, just like the big girl she is.

Each time she got the bread nice and soggy, we would replace it with a new piece to keep her interested without fear of any choking. This went on for a while until we decided to switch gears and actually let her try some turkey. Even when we finished up, the baby wanted to keep the party going.

Maddie communicated to us that is was rude to eat and run, but we had to get her back home for some quality naptime. As always, she was a perfect lady and left everyone with a smile on their face.

Baby Endures Disastrous Valentine’s Day

Posted on Updated on

If you can’t help your wonderful baby girl enjoy her first Valentine’s Day, at least make it memorable.

We have one hard and fast, yet simple rule when it comes to our 6-month-old daughter Maddie – Her waking hours are not to surpass the three-hour mark. You can flirt with the mark, but violate it at your own peril.

I’m not sure how often I need a refresher course on this one, but Maddie laid down the law on me once again tonight.

Our day got off to a rough start because it appears that peaches DO NOT agree with the baby’s digestive track. Her first taste of peaces came around 8 this morning. It will likely be the last taste for months, if not years to come.

Her tummy was all out of whack and under siege from gas attacks all morning. This made any decent naptime very hard to come by. By 2pm, she had only three half hour naps under her belt and if it those numbers stood up, it would be our shortest nap period on record.

After a couple unsuccessful attempts at putting her down for a nap, I noticed that her tummy must be much feeling better. That energy and smile came back and I was overwhelmed by illusions of grandeur. Fantasies of a harmonious and quiet Valentine’s Day bedtime process brought a warm glow to my heart.

As we approached 5pm, I decided to check the diaper and commence bedtime procedures. When I got to the diaper, without going into any gory details, I saw that the evil peaches had been expunged. I got busy changing the diaper when a dark cloud enshrouded the room.

Maddie’s mood was deteriorating and it was time for me to step up the pace. By the time I was done with the diaper, the baby was melting down and I was not prepared.

BUT? How could? What had happened was?

Now I was far out at sea with the shore miles away – I thrashed about and tried to soothe the baby, but it was too late. She had been up too long and I had no answers as to how to help her.

I tried to regroup and let her stew in the crib for a few minutes. That foolish action was met with brutal resistance. Now I have a desperate baby in my arms and there’s nothing to do but cling to the buoy and wait for the storm to pass. The tantrum has settled down all around you and it could have been avoided.

It’s always interesting to be struck with the harsh reality that you have no idea what you are doing. Whatever instincts or intelligence you gather along the way is completely washed away during moments like these. I wish Maddie had spent more time with the selection committee so she could have found a father who had at least half of a clue.

Honey Badger Hits Back with Sleep Attacks

Posted on Updated on

Don't be tired, Stupid!

With several hundred miles to drive first thing in the morning – there’s nothing like the gentle howling of your five-month-old honey badger through out the night to get your mind right.

Maddie was eager to hit the road and emphasized that very point with a series of mind-numbing wakeup calls chiming in at 9:30pm, 2:30am and 4:45am. When I scooped up Madeleine shortly after the final wakeup call, she gave the look that sings out, “Honey Badger don’t care!”

When I asked Maddie about these two-hour sleep intervals, she hit me with a Jedi mind trick and forced me to feed her six ounces of milk without any more of my inane questioning. Just as the baby was knocking away the last of her bottle, she passed out sound asleep.

I sat there with her on my lap pondering the long drive home with very little sleep. An hour later I was still trying to get some sleep of my own, but I was too anxious about our upcoming road trip. Maddie finally woke up once her grandfather got up to make coffee and we took to the road just after nine. Within a half hour of our departure, we were bogged down in a mini-traffic snarl on Route 15.

Maddie was not pleased, but lacked any real energy to lash out at the situation, so she opted in for another nap. This made me a little jealous, but I was glad she was getting rested up for the long day ahead of us.

The baby was basically a perfect lady for the duration of the trip – but both of her parents were a little worn down from Maddie’s early morning mayhem. We made it through the trip without too much hassle and are very excited to see what Maddie has planned for us during our first night back at home.

Maddie Perfects the Art of Raspberries

Posted on Updated on

My spittle speaks volumes

In the past couple of weeks, Maddie’s favorite form of communication has become the raspberry.

To clarify, a raspberry is a noise created when the baby sticks just the tip of her tongue out of her mouth and blows a sharp stream of air. This creates a vibration of lips and tongue that results in the wet and distinctive raspberry.

It’s a spittle-spraying affair that seems to cover a wide array of the baby’s emotions. Surprisingly, it also seems to delight all of those within earshot.

Lately, these mini-saliva-splattered events have been evenly distributed between Maddie’s efforts to entertain those around her and those early evening grumpy spells.

During the holidays, Maddie focused a great deal of these entertainment raspberries at her grandmother. Maddie figured out that she could make MiMi laugh with each rumbling spackle!

However, when the evening is winding down and the baby is getting tired, her raspberries take on take on a much more ominous tone. That light-hearted spray instantly becomes a harsh pelting storm of venomous rivulets of spit. The angry raspberries are often mixed with gasps and sobs.

The most entertaining phase of Maddie’s raspberries is during the diaper change. I try not to laugh, but it seems like such an unlikely time to be making those types of noises, she gets me every time.

Suffice it to say that Maddie’s little sense of humor is quite developed for a girl who has still yet to speak her first word.

Madeleine’s First Christmas Poem

Posted on Updated on

It's never too early to wake up for Santa!

Twas early Christmas morning and all through the place
Maddie was set to go off like a large can of mace

Her aunts and uncles were sleeping without care
But Maddie’s disposition was off, temper ready to flare

She kicked off her socks and knocked over my cup
Then gurgled and fussed and then she spit up

Now the volume was rising, time to wake up the house
The burp cloth now covered, PaPa’s sleeve and her blouse

Maddie unleashed a small scream, and threw one of her toys
No one knows what she wants, but she’s bringing the noise

It’s 4 in the morning, isn’t it time to wake up?
Santa’s long gone, hey PaPa, giddyup!

We creep downstairs, in hopes of calming her down
But the baby has other ideas, you can tell by the frown

She latched onto to my hair and wouldn’t let go
Then began to act out and let the tears flow

We head for the basement to stifle that great roar
But now the windows are shaking along with the floor

The house is awake now, confusion starting to spread
Why is the baby fretting, she’s been changed and been fed?

Just when all seems lost, a smile appears
Is there new hope, an end to the crying and tears?

Maddie’s eyes now grow heavy, not making a peep
The house falls silent – one and all back to sleep!