Category Archives: Vacation
The New York City Passport Office will never be the same after Maddie Danger dropped in on them this morning.
Maddie strolled into the office and announced her presence with authority. It didn’t take long for her to let out a few prolonged shrieks to let people know that Maddie was in the house.
Once Maddie made her mark on the first floor – It was time to move on to the nerve center of the Passport Center – the tenth floor!
We were running short on distractions while Maddie’s fuse was running short.
I tried to keep her corralled at one of the empty workspaces, but suddenly time was up. Maddie put on quite a show, but thankfully it was time to go.
But fear not, here’s a sneak peak of Maddie’s AH-Mazing Passport Photo!
Maddie’s short fuse grew a little shorter tonight when she demanded an immediate release from her high chair. Dinner hadn’t been over for more than a minute when a squeal erupted from my precocious soon to be one-year-old daughter.
Maddie’s parents were shocked to see that the baby was trying to tear off her shirt as a show of civil disobedience. Once she discovered she couldn’t free herself from the chair, she knew she had to do something radical. Moments later, the topless protest was on.
However, pulling her shirt all the way off was not as easy as Maddie had anticipated. She succeeded in getting the shirt over her head, but was not able to free her arms.
All three of us found this predicament especially entertaining. Maddie started laughing her head off. We couldn’t tell if the baby was stunned by her own ridiculousness or entertained by the fact that her parents were cracking up. We freed Maddie from the chair and fixed her shirt before she was off on her next adventure in the kitchen.
Along with Cabinet Opening 101, Maddie is taking graduate level courses in “Pulling over Trashcans” and “Opening the refrigerator and resting her arms on the bottom shelf. She’s already looking at next month’s syllabus that includes a course on Parental Coercion and Terror.
Maddie is getting used to her chill time in the pool. She’s been more than happy to use her parents as a lounge chair and let them ferry her around the water. But things took a sharp turn Thursday morning when a dashing 9-month-old little boy named Blake joined her in the pool.
Blake obviously had a thing for older women and Maddie is just days away from her first birthday. They made eye contact from across the pool as Blake was being towed in a sleek little floatation device. Maddie prompted me to move in for a closer look.
A sly smile crept over Blake’s face as Maddie moved in, but she was playing it cool. Blake’s floatie had a few cups sitting on the bow and Maddie quickly helped herself to one of them. Blake winked at her, his eyes letting her know that there were more cups where that one came from.
Blake suggested that we move this show to the stairs and Maddie reluctantly agreed. I sat Maddie on the top step as Blake assumed the pushup position about three feet away. Maddie leaned over and grabbed Blake by the arm. The young lad took Maddie’s overt gesture in stride.
They stared at one another for about five minutes before it was time for Maddie to go. She doesn’t get too many opportunities to interact with other children, but like everything else, Maddie handled her business like a real pro.
The baby attacks have been coming at a torrid pace. Once Maddie hits the ground running, there is no safe haven. She attacks without warning and none of your possessions are safe.
Hats and glasses are obviously a big draw. Lately Maddie has been exploring the field of dentistry by trying to pull out my bottom teeth. Today at the pool, it appeared as if the baby had called a truce.
Maddie took turns letting each parent shuttle her around the pool. She had her legs up, some nice warm water and a pacifier to play with. She snatched the sunglasses off of my face a few times, but all and all, we were seeing a new Maddie. This was a kinder and gentler Maddie who was willing to hang out with the parents and pass the day away.
However, once we lifted the baby out of the water – all bets were off. Maddie’s mom took a little break on her stomach trying to dry off before the walk home. This sent our little junkyard dog over the edge. She started lunging at her mom’s hat trying to claim it for herself. I tried to hold her back, but she threw me into the fence and jumped her mom.
Rescue crews moved with the jaws-of-life to try and pry the hat from the baby, but it was a no-go, the hat now belonged to her. When the police came, the baby told them that she had found the hat by the side of the pool and had mistakenly thought it was hers. Mom tried to contradict the story, but a stern look from Maddie shut her down.
No one knows what finally happened to the hat, but Maddie assured her parents that this is only the beginning.
For the second flight in a row, Maddie was treated to more mechanical meltdowns compliments of United Airlines. (They hate to fly and it shows)
It was a long and arduous trip home, but it did not tarnish a wonderful Easter weekend with the entire family. We pulled up to the airport in Chicago this morning with plenty of time to spare. We even breezed through security and things were proceeding almost too smoothly. That’s when we saw that our flight was already delayed by a couple of hours.
Actually, being stuck at the airport was the best part of the day. Maddie and Aunt Jacque got to hang out and throw food together at the airport Chili’s. There was no pressure, plenty of food and a happy baby. But once we made our way down to the gate, things got a little dicey.
There was a mob of people who had been waiting for some time to get to Newark and United had one person manning the gate. We shuffled onto the airplane and found our seats. We had no idea that our time on the runway was just beginning.
Once again, Maddie managed more than an hour of runway naptime only to find her parents wondering if they were ever going to take off. At one point, we were supposedly taxiing down the runway for takeoff when the pilot had to turn around for mechanical issues.
Hot tip: Babies as a general rule don’t like to sit still in a plane. Especially if they already were stranded for several hours at the airport due to “windy conditions.” Once we got into the air, Maddie’s patience’s was on shaky ground.
We pulled out all the entertainment tricks in the book, but after four hours plus on the plane – Maddie was fed up. You can’t blame her, we could have flown to the moon and back by the time we left O’Hare. After a while, Maddie staged a few mini-meltdowns – but her behavior went above and beyond. She fought the good fight and we were very proud of her.
Maddie’s return flight home on United Airlines took more than a few unexpected turns this evening including an interesting welcome home at Newark Liberty Airport in New Jersey. Maddie is my 8-month-old daughter and she was feeling more than a bit antsy during Friday evening’s flight home from Charlotte.
Midway through the flight, we gave her a bottle that finally seemed to the take the edge off and put her to sleep. Maddie slept for about 20 minutes when the pilot came over the intercom informing us that we were making our descent into Newark.
We were in the process of the normal approach when the pilot suddenly halted his descent and began climbing. He came back over the speaker and said, “Uhh, folks, we’re going to have to check some things out up here.” Maddie doesn’t speak yet, but this announcement seemed to command her full attention.
Much to the baby’s dismay, we spent the next twenty minutes flying in circles around the Newark area. We kept switching Maddie back and forth between parents, but we could not get her to relax.
Suddenly, the phone rang and was picked up the young male flight attendant right next to us. We were in the first row and thought I could hear the word emergency in the conversation the pilot was having with the flight attendant. Surely I must have been hearing things, but there we were, not circling the airport but flying around New Jersey.
The baby was getting increasingly restless when the pilot announces that we will be on the ground in three minutes. As soon as we touch down, we can see more than 15 fire trucks and multiple rescue vehicles lining the right side of the runway. As we begin to slow down, these teams of first responders and firefighters are peeling off and escorting us down the runway.
These emergency vehicles are packing in behind us as the announcements are coming on like nothing out of the ordinary is going on. So here we are with a train of emergency vehicles shadowing our every move as our jet is directed away from all the other aircraft that are parked on the tarmac.
Now the emergency vehicles are pulling up on either side of the jet as we await our fate. The flight attendant pops the door and a Port Authority Official rushes into the cockpit to talk with the pilot.
You can hear the pilot say, it was on the screen and then it just went blank. The officer turned back to the flight attendant and told him to let the passengers go. No one wasted any time getting off of that flight. As soon as we got Maddie off of the plane, she was suddenly as cool as a cucumber. I wonder if she knew something that United Airlines had obviously forgot to tell the rest of us.