Category Archives: Family
Maddie does Yoga once a week at her little school in Jersey City. However, it was still a shock when Maddie unveiled a new way to combine Yoga with cell phone technology.
With no prompting from us and before we could react, Maddie hatched her plan in front of us.
She grabbed a pair of cell phones and put them about a foot apart on the floor.
Then Maddie hopped up and planted her feet, one on each phone.
As we moved in to intercept, she assumed the “Downward Dog” position while propped on the two phones.
We do not condone standing on or abusing mobile devices, but this was a sight to behold.
As many of you already know, Maddie has an interesting habit of kicking off her shoes at the worst possible time. Let’s face it, Maddie has developed potential shoe-loss into an art form.
This morning, Maddie and I were just leaving target when she simultaneously sent both shoes flying. I caught one in the air and had to dig the other one out of basket full of coffee at Starbucks.
No harm done, I stuck the shoes under the cart and headed outside to the car.
I realized that I had never retrieved the shoes from underneath the shopping buggy. Within 30 seconds, we were making our return trip to Target. I pulled up to the shopping cart area, but our cart was gone – Game on!!
I encountered an exceptionally rude woman at the customer service counter (Big Shocker) and asked her if any baby shoes had been turned in. She apparently had forgotten that I was a customer when she replied – “Nahhhh.”
I took this to mean “No” and decided to track down the shopping cart guy.
He was much friendlier than his co-worker, but wasn’t quite with the program.
I started to ask him about Maddie’s shoes, when he blurted out – “Shoes, right??” This was going to be easier than I thought – But it’s never easy in Jersey City.
He absolutely remembered the shoes, but had no idea what he had done with them. He took me back to Ms. Congeniality at the customer service desk and told her that he had turned to the shoes into her. She practically yelled at him, “Naa-Ahh, no you didinttt!!
I looked at the Shopping Cart Jedi and asked, “Think, where did you first find the shoes?”
We combed the store, he went through trashcans, looked at shelves and kept giggling to himself. Finally, I asked him if he had a little “store-item” drawer where he put random store items.
“Ohhh yea,” he exclaimed – He led us to an empty register where there was a shopping cart filled with a smattering of random items – and SUCCESS!!
Shoes On! Better luck next time Maddie!
Some shopping trips with the Mad Madster are better than others and some are downright painful.
Sometimes a series a events collide leading a father to abandon $60 worth of groceries in a store parking lot to deal with his mischievous one-shoed daughter.
There is one grocery store in Jersey City that we shop at for only a few items at a time. The reason for this is that the shopping carts can’t go more than ten feet out of the entrance because they are blocked in by metal barricades. This critical fact seemed to have slipped my mind as Maddie and I were checking out with far too much to carry.
It all started with a BAD checkout. The rocket scientist bagging the groceries only single-bagged a sack containing a 2-liter bottle and some other items with sharp corners. I failed to notice this because Maddie was trying to pull every item off the belt before the cashier could scan it.
I knew I was in trouble the second we got outside where there was a homeless gentleman was asking to carry my bags. I declined his kind offer and set off into the parking lot with a sense of purpose.
We made it about 20 steps when the shopping bag with the the 2-liter bottle blew apart showering the contents all over the parking lot.
For some reason, this sent Maddie into a kicking frenzy. Her right foot scored a direct hit on a second bag blasting it apart with more items showering the ground along with her sneaker.
It’s a party now!
Maddie wants to get down and play in the carnage below and the car is no closer than 100 yards away.
Time to leave the groceries where they were (bye bye Maddie and I said together) as we walked away to get in the car.
Once the Mads was safely strapped in, we drove over to the mess where there was a nice man defending our pile of groceries from some curious homeless helpers.
I thanked him, hoping our adventure was over, but Maddie had more games to share with her dad.
Of course there were no parking spaces near our home, so we had to park across the busy street. We parked and the only shopping bag I grabbed to take upstairs with Maddie was her milk. We took two steps from the car when the one-shoed girl seized the bag and swung it towards her head. I had to adjust quickly, but Maddie had a death grip on the bag. I put her down to free the bag, when she whipped the sack across the sidewalk rupturing the third bag of the young morning.
At that point, there was really nothing left to do but take a few pictures.
The New York City Passport Office will never be the same after Maddie Danger dropped in on them this morning.
Maddie strolled into the office and announced her presence with authority. It didn’t take long for her to let out a few prolonged shrieks to let people know that Maddie was in the house.
Once Maddie made her mark on the first floor – It was time to move on to the nerve center of the Passport Center – the tenth floor!
We were running short on distractions while Maddie’s fuse was running short.
I tried to keep her corralled at one of the empty workspaces, but suddenly time was up. Maddie put on quite a show, but thankfully it was time to go.
But fear not, here’s a sneak peak of Maddie’s AH-Mazing Passport Photo!