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Category Archives: Childproofing

The Incredible Floating Toes

Posted on February 8, 2013 by stayhomepapa1
Back up - I'm coming over!!

Back up – I’m coming over!!

How is the climbing stage going?

I guess it depends on who you ask.

As far as Maddie’s parents are concerned, the climbing stage isn’t too cool.

Ask Maddie and I’m sure she thinks it going GREAT!

“No crib can hold me,” exclaimed the 18-month-old girl as she prepared to vault into the great abyss.

This is to be expected when you have a toddler that can throw her legs as high as her head and has toes capable of gripping any smooth surface like a gecko lizard.

Maddie vaults on top of tables and chairs with reckless abandon now.  This high-risk behavior is on the verge of becoming a serious problem.

Watching my baby, it’s easy to understand the pure folly of human nature.

Like scientists and politicians, Maddie often decides plunges ahead with a course of action rather than pondering the aftermath of what she does. Of course she is only 18-months-old and has time to resolve this risky behavior issue.

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Posted in Childproofing, Escape, Family, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Dad Battles Baby’s Sickness, Baby Takes on Trash Can

Posted on November 26, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

Open Sesame!!

Just as Maddie was starting to feel better, her Dad got a real taste of exactly what was troubling the baby. Suffice it to say that Mom had to take over sole caretaking responsibilities while dad battled the nasty stomach bug.

While Mom set her sights on Maddie, the baby had a new adversary to tackle.

For weeks now, we have not been able to stop Maddie from digging into the kitchen trash and removing items of interest. It was a game at first, but once it became a contest of wills, there was no stopping Maddie from dumpster diving.

That’s when Maddie’s parents decided to flip the script on the baby.

We tracked down a taller trashcan that’s equipped with a butterfly lid. This lids opens up and out. At first, Maddie was determined to crack the code. She tried to coax the can open. When that didn’t work, it was time for more drastic measures.

Maddie started placing items on top of can and knocking them off. But no matter how much abuse she heaped upon the new can, she couldn’t get inside. It only took about a half an hour for Maddie to lose all interest in the new trashcan.

When you have an opponent like the Mad Madster, you have to celebrate the small victories!

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Posted in Baby, Child Development, Childproofing, Family, Parenting, sick baby, Sick Parent and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Maddie Rearranging Grandma and Grandpa’s House

Posted on November 3, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

I make polka dots look good!

Since blowing town in the wake of Hurricane Sandy, Maddie has been doing her best to rearrange her grandparent’s house. She’s digging into every drawer and trying to pry open every cabinet.

It’s been a very exciting week chasing Maddie around. She’s also attacking cords and remote controls with reckless abandon. Back at home, there are still multiple living condition issues including no power and no hot water.

So Maddie is burning off as much energy as she can outside. She’s strutting her bear ears and polka dots like nobody’s business.

She’s also experimenting with the challenges presented by gravity. Her grandparents have extreme hills surrounding their home and Maddie loves climbing them almost as much as tumbling down them.

By the time she gets used to her new surroundings, it will be time to head back home and survey the damage.

I am the Stay Puft Marshmallow Girl!

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Posted in Child Development, Childproofing, Children, Family, Parenting, trouble and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

It’s Just Gotta Be the Shoes

Posted on October 19, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

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Posted in Baby, Child Development, Childproofing, Family, Parenting, shoes and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Baby Cracks Flip Phone Code Overnight

Posted on July 25, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

It looks more dramatic if you lunge into it.

Yesterday Maddie was tearing her hair out because she couldn’t open the flip phone. Today her casual flip and open the phone method rivaled that of James T. Kirk’s dialing up the Starship Enterprisewith his trusty communicator.

Beam me up Maddie!

This was quite a polished and practiced motion for a girl who seemed more likely to bite the thing in half just last night. But that’s how Maddie rolls, she likes to figure things out on her own and does not want any help. This is all fine and dandy except when it comes more dangerous pursuits like climbing the stairs.

Getting Maddie to come down the stairs backwards has been an exercise in futility. No matter how many times we spin her around, she wants to head off the stairs face first.

Maddie had been dealing with a sour tummy lately, but she rebounded nicely today with a twinkle in her eye and mischief in her heart. Tomorrow is the big event where Maddie travels to western Jersey to spend the day with Grandma. We’ve warned grandma that Maddie is capable of superhuman, mind-numbing speed – but it must be witnessed to be believed. Good luck Grandma!

I need more life challenges

 

 

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Posted in Childproofing, Communication, electronincs, Family, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Baby Stomps All Over Stairs Challenge

Posted on June 30, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

Is this the way to the gym?

A day after complaining about my amazing daughter’s complete disregard for the laws of gravity, things have taken a rather perilous turn for the worst.

Yesterday, Maddie took a keen interest in the stairs. I supervised her very closely as she attempted to actually climb one. At the time, I was very relieved that Maddie was no quite able accomplish this monumental task. However, Maddie the Lion-Hearted is a not girl who takes defeat very easily.

So this morning, one of her first orders of business was to take another shot at the stairs. Imagine my surprise when after just a little experimentation, she was able to scale two stairs. OK, take a deep breath – There’s no reason for me to panic just yet, it was only two stairs. However, the glint in Maddie’s eyes told me that she was just getting warmed up.

So how long would we have to wait before Maddie perfected the art of raiding the stairs? How about just a little less than four hours? That’s right, shortly after Maddie woke up from her afternoon nap, she was off to the races climbing the stairs with reckless abandon.

No fear, no hesitation, Maddie just marched up ten stairs as if she had been doing it since the day after her birth. So now I must enhance my passion for protection as Maddie has laid down the gauntlet for the newest and most dangerous activity to date.

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Maddie Danger – Always Looking for Trouble

Posted on June 22, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

It’s better if you get behind me

Maddie is doing her best to break out of her play area and make new and amazing discoveries. Unfortunately, many of her new tricks could lead to disaster. Maddie has made it a habit of trying to break free from my arms and launch herself into space.

This would be ok if she could fly or levitate or somehow defy gravity, but her super powers are rather limited. This means that Maddie’s dad is tasked with catching her several times a day before she hits the ground. So far this strategy is working, but it’s very risky and  keeps things very interesting for the both of us.

Maddie has also developed an overwhelming need to try and head-butt the round glass tables in her grandmother’s living room. She hasn’t whapped her head yet, but that is not due to lack of effort on her part.

The baby also loves to practice her free falls. Every time we put her in the pack in play, she stands up and practices falling on her butt. At first glance, it may look she’s falling down by mistake, but after five minutes, it’s apparent that she’s practicing these moves on purpose.

Maddie’s newest mission is to break on through to the other side. She’s decided that the key to her eternal happiness lies beyond the double glass doors that separate the living room from the family room. She pushes herself into the upright position and hopes that one of these doors will magically open for her.

Maddie is a determined young lady and is poised for a major breakthrough – the only question remains is what kind of impact it will have on the rest of us.

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Posted in Child Development, Childproofing, Family, Mischief, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Electrical Cords – Let ‘Em Rip

Posted on May 30, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

Your connection has been terminated

You can childproof all you like, but when it comes to Maddie, “Resistance is Futile!” Sure the stairs are blocked off and the electrical outlets are plugged up, but Maddie comes with a few extra amenities in her magical bag of tricks.

If you follow any of Maddie’s exploits, you know that she is definitely wired for sound.  And now that she is racing around the house, the games are absolutely underway.

The baby’s newest trick is what’s known as, “Grip it and Rip it!” Maddie is now constantly on the hunt for electrical cords. Once she sees one, all bets are off – “Go marine, GO!!” Her little knees spring into action and merge into a blur as she closes in on that cord du jour.

You race to intercept Maddie, but she strikes swiftly and without mercy. The cord is hers now and she is more than happy to show you her fresh kill. That’s actually the funniest part of any Maddie misadventure; she loves to display whatever forbidden item she has taken captive.

I have become a hunter!

In just the past week, Maddie has stalked cords belonging to phones, computers and fans. But this weekend, Maddie’s mischievous nature soared to new heights. We were watching the baby on the monitor when everything suddenly went blank? Good lord, what happened?

We burst into the room only to discover that little Miss Mission Impossible had somehow reached behind the crib and torn out the cord to the camera. She was sitting in her crib with an ear-to-ear smile triumphantly waving the plug at me. My little minx is obviously destined for the world of espionage because she CUT HER FIRST VIDEO FEED before she was even 10-months-old.

I can only imagine the places she will take me once she’s a year old.

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Posted in Baby, Child Development, Childproofing, Communication, Crawling, Family, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Baby Unleashes Carnage in the Kitchen

Posted on May 28, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

My work is done here!

If it doesn’t involve stairs, Maddie is now more than happy to prove that she can basically access any part of the house that we can. Her ability to motor from point A to point B increases with great efficiency just about every day.

Her new trick is to actually follow me into the kitchen to see what I’m up to and what she might be able accomplish in there. The childproofing has gone pretty well so far, but Maddie is intent on covering every inch of the house, grid-by-grid.

Before launching her latest assault on the kitchen, Maddie confronted a very large package of toilet tissue. With 18 rolls to work on, her hands were full. She thrashed the bag with criminal intent but was unable to punch through the plastic. After about five minutes, it became apparent that the plastic would not yield the paper treasures that were so close, yet so far away.

Now it was time for Maddie to begin her assault on her father who was rummaging around the kitchen. Maddie is by no means stealthy; you can hear those hands slapping the floors several moments before she makes her grand entrance. Yet once she rounds the corner, she is on you.

Her first order of business was to pull the kitchen trashcan down on top of her. With that task out of the way, her next assignment was to gain access to the dishwasher. Much to her disappointment, Maddie was turned away before she could unlock the mysteries hidden deep behind the dishwasher walls.

The baby then proceeded to yank on various cabinet doors to she if could yank them open. Each one held firm, but Maddie vowed that these doors would not be safe for long and she would be back. It was then that we whisked her to her high chair where she could enjoy some nice lasagna.

Maddie enjoyed the taste, but was locked into a moral dilemma. Should she enjoy her meal, spread it all over her face or redecorate the kitchen with it? The answer hit her like a ton of bricks, why not do all three?

Maddie started firing food off the tray and onto the floor. When her Mom tried to clean it up, she got popped as well. The little terrorista was on a roll and didn’t let up until her masterpiece was complete.

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Posted in Childproofing, Children, Crawling, Family, Mischief, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Winds of Change Taxing the Baby

Posted on May 25, 2012 by stayhomepapa1

I’m going to need a moment before you speak to me.

With so many developmental changes assaulting the Mad Madster, it’s no wonder she’s feeling just a bit overwhelmed right now. Today she launched a full frontal assault aimed at none other than her dear old dad.

We seemed to be having a grand old time this morning. Maddie was tearing up a magazine with great vigor and right or wrong, I was letting her pursue this course of action. However, when she tore out a page and tried to stuff it in her mouth, I had to intervene.

I grabbed the offending page as it was going into Maddie’s mouth. At the time, this seemed to be a reasonable course of action, but Maddie did not see it that way. Taking that piece of paper away from her was apparently a capital offense.

She screamed, she fussed, she pouted – and that was just the beginning. For the better part of an hour, Maddie let her dad have it and then some. She was about as angry as I have ever seen her.

It didn’t take long for me to understand that this wasn’t about the non-edible paper, but something much more complicated. I think Maddie’s rapid development is temporarily getting the best of her.

The baby is trying desperately to communicate with us. She’s working on her standing, crawling and eating skills and is meeting new people everyday. All of this stimulation has to confusing, exhausting and probably downright frightening. Maddie is also craving the one thing I obviously can’t provide for her, more female interaction.

So I have to take my lumps with a smile for now and hope she feels a little better tomorrow. There’s a great deal on her plate and she needs all the support we can offer. It’s not fun to see her struggle like this, but I know she’s a “toughie” and will bounce back happier than ever.

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Posted in Child Development, Childproofing, Children, Crawling, Family, Parenting and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
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